Supporting gay students

NEA Today, Apr 1999

How do you support students who are struggling with their sexual orientation?

support these students in the following ways:

Taking the risk of offering with other colleagues a confidential Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered Support Group for students, and posting notices at school that students may approach me or two other colleagues for information on the support group.

Inviting all staff to wear "rainbow stickers" on our school ID badges to signify we are open to talking to students with sexual orientation issues. We have posters around the school explaining the stickers.

Steve Bloom

Licensed school social worker

Roseville, Minnesota

Schools need to do a better job of stopping gay bashing. Sadly, some staff tum their heads when they hear a student referred to as a "fag" or "queer." One doesn't need to "condone" homosexuality to send the message that no one's dignity or self-worth will be stripped in the classroom.

Dena Hellums

Seventh grade language arts and

social studies teacher

Clackamas, Oregon

I take their concerns very seriously and usually follow these guidelines:

Be yourself.

Remember that students may be experiencing grief reactions, since most teens know that society says they are "wrong."

Students may appear confused about their orientation, when in fact they're only confused with what terminology to use. Use the vocabulary the student uses.

Use the term "same sex feeling" if the student appears uneasy with other vocabulary.

If you don't feel comfortable addressing some issues, find a professional agency that does.

Thank the student for trusting you.

Stop any harassment.

Respect confidentiality. The teachers lounge has caused many students harm.

Phil Carlson

Middle school science teacher

West Palm Beach, Florida

This is a very touchy subject. But if a student trusts me enough to come to me, I'm going to open my mind and push my personal feelings aside for the sake of this child.

First. I listen carefully. Then I ask questions to gauge their feelings and find out how I can help.

Don't be judgmental. Don't make light of the student's concerns and fears. Ask the guidance counselor for advice, without disclosing the student's identity. Be a good example to this student by being an educator who cares and respects feelings.

Heidi Arias

High school resource department chair

Enterprise, Utah

I am an out gay Spanish teacher. One of the reasons I am out is so that our gay/bi-sexual/transgendered youth can turn to a teacher who refuses to hide the life she was meant to live, one who will not judge, push, criticize, or be horrified. A teacher whose life is open-as all wholesome, caring lives should be-and there when students need me.

Elena Picado

Spanish teacher

Little Rock, Arkansas

When discussing civil liberties in my civics class, I bring up the issue of homophobia. I relate experiences I've had, including going to a Pride March. I reassure my students that the American Medical Association has removed homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses. I mention famous people who happened to be gay.

I try to help all my students make the transition to a view of tolerance. I let them know I was raised homophobic but outgrew this faulty premise.

As a result of this outreach, a numher of students have felt comfortable enough to approach me with their "dark secret." I reassure them, and I counsel them that they will survive and life can be good.

Mel "Skip" Didier, Jr.

High school teacher/coach

Lafayette, Louisiana

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