In the light lane

NEA Today, Sep 1999

I Left My Heart...in Texas?

On the first day of my first year of teaching, I was nervously greeting my new students as they walked into my fourth grade classroom.

One particularly outgoing student rushed through the door and said, "Hi! My name is Mary and I'm bad!" I caught my breath and answered, "Good morning Mary, my name is Ms. Volpe, and I believe we all have a good side and a bad side." Without skipping a beat Mary replied. "Well, I left my good side in Texas."

Ren Volpe

San Francisco, California

Some of my students take almost everything I say literally, even slang terms.

Early in the school year, while returning spelling pretests, I reminded the students not to look for a grade, since it was a pretest. I told them: "Instead of grades, I wrote comments such as: Good Try, Study Hard for the Test, You're There!, whatever..."

As I walked back toward my desk I overheard one of my girls, who had really been struggling with spelling, comment to a friend: "I'll bet mine says 'Whatever!"

Michael Gregory

Joplin, MO

While discussing an upcoming trip to our nation's capital, a resource assistant in our building asked a student what the "D.C. " stood for when referring to our capital. The student confidently replied "Dot Com!"

Scott Fowler

Salisbury, Maryland

I picked up my neighbor's son, Max, after his first day of kindergarten. Teaching sixth graders for so long, I had forgotten the innocence of five- and six-year-olds. I asked Max how his day was and he told me about every kid in his class. He said that there was one girl who talked funny.

I asked him, "Was she hoarse?" He gave me the strangest look, so I elaborated, "You know, did she have a frog in her throat?" Max replied, "Niki, she didn't swallow any animals."

Niki Tilicki

Tucson, Arizona

Last year I came back from Christmas vacation and told my fourth grade students that I was pregnant. They were really excited and asked me all kinds of questions. One boy raised his hand and said, "When you are about to have the baby, doesn't your water pipe break?"

I just laughed and told him, yes, but it isn't called a water pipe.

Laura Rasey

Los Banos, California

On our way from the cafeteria each day, my class likes to stop on the large U.S. map that's painted in the courtyard. Students have to choose a different state each time, and tell me three facts about that state.

One child raised her hand to be first. I asked which state she was on. She replied, "Hawaii."

Then everyone began laughing hysterically. Instead of saying the capital was Honolulu, she said, "The capital of Hawaii is "Hallelujah."

Janice Poirier

Jupiter, Florida

One of my third grade students wrote in his journal that he was disappointed he couldn't go to work with his mom on "Take Your Child to Work Day" as they had planned. He wrote that his sister had to go to the emergency room.

I asked if his sister was OK. He replied, "Yes. She just had an impacted vowel.

Nancy Veenendaal

Sun Prairie, Wisconsin

On one of our casual Fridays during January, I wore my TSTA/NEA sweatshirt to school. I noticed several students kept looking at my sweatshirt.

Finally, one student asked what it meant. Instead of telling them, I gave them clues to figure out each letter. They quickly figured out Texas State Teachers Association.

Then I asked who could figure out what NEA means.

Before I could start giving clues, a student blurted out, "It means Never Eat Asparagus! "

David Fleming

Amarillo, Texas

One of my special education high school students was telling me she spent the weekend with her dad. She said he gave her some money and she was saving it for a rainy day. I asked her what did it mean to save for a rainy day.

She replied, "I'm saving to buy a raincoat."

Georgette Dredge

Houston, Texas

During a video presentation on whales, the narrator announced that because of their low numbers, scientists were concerned with the gene pool of a particular whale.

One of my second graders became confused and said, "I didn't think whales wore pants." I assured her they didn't. "Then why," she asked, "are they worried about their jeans?"

Gail Wasilishen

Woodbridge, New Jersey

The celebrated author Debbi Dadey was spending the entire day at our elementary school. As the author toured the building, we observed a third grader carrying a basket filled with Debbie's books.

"What a great selection of books! Where did they all come from?" Debbie asked.

The child gave Debbie a puzzled look, and replied. "Why, you wrote them!"

Cyndy Nichols

West Salem, Wisconsin

I complimented Danny, a second grade student. on how nicely his hair was combed. Danny then checked me over, looking for something nice to say about me. He looked at my shoes, fastened with two velcro strips, then suddenly asked, "Mr. Schulz, don't you know how to tie shoes yet?

Alan Schulz

Salt Lake City, Utah

After spring break, my first graders were planting flowers for Mother's Day gifts.

"Do you have any more of those crazy flower seeds?" Heather asked.

It took me a few moments to realize she meant wild flowers!

Connie Connely

Catoosa, Oklahoma