etiquette advantage, The

Electric Perspectives, May/Jun 2000 by Blume, Eric R

Courtesy is all about commonsense relations in a changing world-and it

can affect the bottom line.

Rudeness has an impact om everYone-it evenhas an impact on the bottom line. When someone is disrespectful, rude, or insensitive toward others at

work, the impact is felt not only by the target of the rudeness but also by the

whole workplace. For example, according to a recent study by the University of North Carolina, virtually all targets of workplace incivility (94 percent,? described their encounters to someone else. Most described the incident to their peers, half spoke ivth superiors, and about one-fifth of the targets described what had occurred to their

subordinates. (See the sidebar, `'f;ude People."?

The potential costs of rude, disrespectful encounters deserve leadership attention; according to the survey: Some targets said that they never reported the event to organizational leaders because they believed that it could jeopardize their careers or that their reporting would have no impact. Many respondents indicated that leaders seemed reluctant to take follow-up action. In some cases, the instigator's power seemed to carry a level of "clout" that made him or her impervious to personal criticism and shielded against corrective feedback or repercussions. For some respondents, leaders seemed to avoid "sticky" problems that reflected interpersonal incompetence. Email, wireless telephones, a more global economy, and casual dress environments are just some of the changes that have revolutionized the work environment. But have these changes come at the expense of everyday common courtesy? The point is arguable. In the end, courtesy is not difficult-and it could help the business, as well as the well-mannered person's upward mobility.

Ruder Society? What is etiquette? "It can be simply put as having people skills," said Peggy Post, co-author of The Etiquette Advantage in Business and the greatgranddaughter-in-law of the American icon of etiquette, Emily Post.

Emily Post's first etiquette book was written in 1922. It was 700 pages, presenting guidelines for everythinghow to attend a funeral, how to respond to a wedding invitation, how to eat meals properly The book immediately became an institution, helping Americans from all walks of life. She revised the book nine times before she died in 1960. "She constantly was keeping up with the times-one of the huge hallmarks of her success," said Peggy Post. "She realized that people just wanted to know what to do."

The more things change, the more they stay the same. "A lot of people feel that we are a ruder society" Post continued. "We're certainly more rushed and more crowded, and we have to do more with less. We find that we're also more informal as a rule, so it seems that we don't take as much time with those daily niceties with each other. But there is a basic innate goodness in the majority of people out there, and a lot of people say that they don't realize they're being rude. They say that they're just stressed or in a hurry or rushing around."

But, however innate the goodness, the pendulum seemed to have swung away from some of the etiquette guidelines, starting (according to Post) in the late 1960s and continuing through the Me Generation of the 1980s.

Now, however, it appears that the pendulum may be going the other way, and it is noticeable in the business world. "We have more and more business seminars," she said. "There is an increased awareness-etiquette is not old-fashioned and stuffy, it's a smart way of navigating through murky waters." Post recently spoke to a group of businesspeople in their 20s and 30s. "They want to know what to do," she said. "So many of that age group has been raised in single-parent or dualincome families, and some did not learn a lot of the basics and do sincerely want to play catch-up. They're not innately more selfish than other people or previous generations. Maybe they haven't had some of the exposure or experiences, but they're realizing that they do need these skills to get along with other people."

Many business schools are giving courses as well under the umbrella of etiquette-everything from interviewing skills to how to eat to how to behave in a meeting to how to introduce oneself to a client. "There is an awareness that you can have self-respect and be competitive," said Post, "but one can be competitive and also think of other people." In business, having etiquette skills can also help people feel increased confidence, and that helps them get ahead. Etiquette skills "help smooth the way;' said Post. "It gives us a way to do things."

"One of the hard cold facts about how important business etiquette is today is that it can be translated into improving productivity, which can be translated into improving the bottom line. If workers are feeling that they have to put up with rude behavior, then companies can lose productivity." People spend a lot of time worrying and working less. Many may deliberately decrease their work effort. Some out-and-out quit their jobs: "They just didn't want to be around rude behavior," said Post.