Laugh lines--Every teacher has them

Teaching Pre K-8, Oct 1994 by Haws, Cynthia

My sixth graders were performing the musical, "The Wizard of Oz" for our younger students. I was sitting with the kindergartners who were watching with great interest. As the Lion in the cast stretched for a high note, one of the little ones leaned over to me and said, "You know, Miss Haws, that one went a little too far over the rainbow!"

Living on the Edge

In my sixth grade class, I have a child who needs extra help with sight vocabulary. This youngster spent an hour with the reading specialist reviewing definitions of words on an assigned word list. The reading teacher assured me he was able to define each word on the list and was asked to choose a few words and write sentences using them for homework. The next day I chuckled as I read, "In my house we keep the "margin" in the refrigerator. Linda Hagarty, Elkins Park, PA The Honeymoon Is Over!

Upon returning to my kindergartners after a week-long honeymoon, I tried to explain that my name was changed from Miss Capozzolo to Mrs. Foy. One little fellow raised his hand responded, "Mrs. Foy, you're much prettier than Miss Capozzolo! Carla Foy, Ivyland, PA

Baby on Tap

I'm often amused at what the first graders in my ruraly community say. One student came to me in the morning glowing with excitement. Wide-eyed and grinning, he blurted, "My aunt is going to have a baby! She's in labor and her water pump broke." Rachel Carpenter, Hammond, LA

Nectar of the Gods

One day I was talking to my first grade class about my flower garden. I explained that I panted it to attract hummingbirds. Little Aryan explained that he had seen a hummingbird before. I asked him where. He said, "Mrs. Carturight, I saw that hummingbird drinking liquor from the flowers!" Angie Carturight, Dallas TX

Test Tube Babies

After hearing a "dog story," a first grader named Mallory informed me that her dog had recently had puppies. She went on to explain that they looked like Dalmatians. I asked her if the mama dog was a Dalmatian. When she said no, I asked if the papa dog was. "No," she replied, "the daddy's a laboratory." Dottie Campbell, Meridian, MS

Hard of Hearing

The bell to clean up the room at the end of indoor recess went unnoticed because I was "concentrating" on grading papers. I explained to the students that we missed the bell. One first grader at the head of the line going to music class relayed the following story: "Our teacher was 'constipating' so hard she didn't hear the bell. That's why we're late." Lyn Reece, Scott Depot, WV

Any high or low notes from your class or school worth sharing? Send them to me, along with your social security number, and if we publish your antidote, there's $10 waiting under the rainbow for you! Send stories to Cynthia A. Haws, Principal, Normandy Elementary, 6750 S. Kendall, Littleton, CO 80123.

Cynthia Haws is Principal of Normandy Elementary School Littleton, CO, and a Teaching Editor of Teaching K-8.