Emotional intelligence provides key to life success

Real Estate Issues, Apr 1997 by Bowen H McCoy

Recently I read a book, Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman, published in hardcover by Bantam Books in 1995. This book convinced me that what we were really looking for during my tenure at Morgan Stanley was emotional intelligence.

The author states that there are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ predicts success. At best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces, ranging from social class to luck.

Goleman defines emotional intelligence as the ability to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope. He goes on to say that while IQ cannot be changed much by experience, these other factors can be. People who are emotionally adept-who know and manage their own feelings well, and who read and deal effectively with other people's feelings-are at an advantage in any domain of life, whether romance and intimate relationships or picking up the unspoken rules that govern success in organizational politics. Such people are also more likely to be content and effective in their lives. People who cannot marshal some control over their emotional life fight inner battles that sabotage their ability for focused work and clear thought.

People who cannot control their emotions are more likely to become tipped over the edge-enraged by something seemingly trivial-a trait which the author terms "emotional hijacking." Such a hijacking causes "toxic emotion" to break out, which is stress and anxiety that is out of proportion and out of place. I'm certain each of us has experienced such behavior in others-as well as in ourselves.

As I look back on my career, those who were most successful over time had a high skill level of emotional intelligence. I am reminded of General Bagration in Tolstoy's War and Peace. He was caught up in the din and confusion of the great battlefield. He had no idea what was going on around him. His generals, intensely anguished, came galloping up to him for instructions. Bagration remained a sea of calm and counseled them to return to their positions and do what they thought best under the circumstances. His subordinate generals returned to the fray, instructionless, but filled with confidence and hope from Bagration's high level of emotional maturity. As a result, they went on to defeat Napoleon.

In his most recent book on leadership for the future, Peter Drucker says our leaders must have the emotional maturity to deal with the high rate of change and stress encountered in every business situation. One reason I have been drawn to The Counselors of Real Estate (CREs) is because of the high level of emotional maturity exhibited by so many members. Within this association, we see the masters of their profession at work, without the din and confusion of the investment banking or brokerage communities.

I'm certain many of us would benefit greatly from this book. Likewise, there are many Counselors of Real Estate who need not take the time. They are already there.

Bowen H. "Buzz" McCoy, CRE 1997 President

The Counselors of Real Estate