I Was a Phony Baloney!

I was a real phony baloney.

I was not a, never was a, member of the Republican party

But I was a real phony baloney.

I pretended to be meek but I was not

I pretended to be silent but I was seething

I thought I was confessional but I was teething

On my gristly, phony baloney.

I cared about my shoes (I was chattering) not really

As much as you might have thought:

Oh, sure I was (fill in the blank) and I was (fill in this spot)

But I was a real phony baloney.

I was thinking of how to overthrow the power plot

While I pretended to tend to my petty thought

My eyes were narrowing into harmful harmless slots

I took it out on (Blank) and (Her name I forgot)

I was a real phony baloney.

I pretended to be meek but I was not

I pretended to be weak but I was a block

of solid phony baloney.

Envoi

I pretended to be sighing but I was enjoying my lot:

I was a sorry, sorry. (Baloney.)

Copyright World Poetry, Incorporated Jul/Aug 1996
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