Dinner

When I sit down to dinner, that wife of mine she comes and stands beside me and she says Jack, you want to drink beer with your dinner? And I look at her and I say Well what do you think? Do you think I should have some? And she says Well, you always like beer with your dinner. So I say to her Alright.

You convince me. Bring me some beer. Then she says You want Ortlieb's or Schmidt's? Schmidt's I tell her and she brings a bottle, a quart bottle and a glass. She fills the glass and puts the bottle down beside me. I take a drink. It's good and I tell her I think it is. Now she says Will you have some whiskey? I look at her and I say Yes I think I will have some whiskey. Will you get it for me? I will not she says It's right by your foot and you can get it yourself. I know this because I always keep it down there where I can reach it when I eat my dinner. She asks me then What kind of glass you want a water glass or a shot glass? Well you woman, I say. You been married to me thirty years and you still don't know I can't drink a whole glass of whiskey with my dinner? So she brings a glass and fills it and I drink some, and then I drink some beer. The wife she asks me Is it good? and I tell her Yes. It is good. And I finish the whiskey and the beer. She fills both glasses again and asks me do I want my dinner. I tell her Certainly. And she brings it to me. It is veal. Veal scallopini, with a big dish of French-fry potatoes and a salad. A big toss salad, and rolls and butter. A plate of spaghetti, a dish of lima beans. And a big piece of lemon meringue pie. And I eat. I eat first all the veal. Then I eat the spaghetti. Then the french-fries. Then the salad, Then the lima beans. And last I eat the lemon meringue pie. Then the wife she comes and stands beside me and looks at me. I look at all the dishes. I look at her Then I ask her don't I get no bread with this?

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