Other people's money

Spectator, The, Apr 4, 1998 by Fildes, Christopher

THERE are, so the sage teaches, four types of money. The first is your own, which you spend on yourself. You are the best judge of what you want and how much you want it. If you buy a pair of yellow socks, you must think yellow suits you. The second kind is money of your own that you spend on other people: Christmas presents, for example.

This is less efficient than the first type - your uncle may not share your taste in socks - but far more efficient than the third, which is spending other people's money on yourself. The textbook case of this is an expense-account lunch at the Dealmakers' Arms, when the best will be good enough and someone else's money is no object. Even this is more efficient than the fourth type. This manifests itself when you spend other people's money on other people. You scribble your initials on a petty cash chit for a dozen crates of paper-clips and move on to something that grabs your attention. The sage observes that some public spending uses Type Three money Lord Irvine's wallpaper, for instance - but most of it uses Type Four, the least efficient of all. Obvious, really.