Don't call me cultured

Spectator, The, Oct 21, 2000 by Wyatt, Petronella

I asked if he said that because Murdoch supported the Tories over the euro? He bristled. `Certainly not. I think the demonology about Murdoch isn't always true.' So you would be afraid of annoying him if it were the right thing to do for the market? `No, a politician should not be afraid of annoying anyone in the interests of fairness.'

It seemed fruitless to continue with the debate on Murdoch, so I asked Ainsworth what he thought his qualifications were to be culture minister. Would he describe himself as a cultured person?

He recoiled as if the question were a snake. `Good God, I wouldn't say that; no. I like to think I am educated. I read English at Oxford.'

What was the last opera you saw? He paused. 'I think it was the Rape of Lucrezia done by, erm, the, er, the National Youth Opera.' A bit of music was all very well, but what about the great canon of English literature? What was the last novel he had read. Ainsworth answered, `Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.' What? Aren't you a bit old for that?

`No, anyway, before that I read a biography of Lord Byron by Benita Eisler.' OK, a children's book and a life of a rakish poet. Hadn't he read any of the classics? Ainsworth looked injured. `Of course, I have read Jane Austen and Thomas Hardy and everything like that.'

Is Bob Dylan as good as Keats? `No, certainly not. That view, though, is implicit in the way this government is approaching the arts. I believe that most of the inspirational people in the arts lived in the past.'

Speaking of the past, you have been quoted as saying that your hero is Pitt the Younger. Do you see any similarities between yourself and Pitt?

Ainsworth blushed prettily. `No, I've left it too late for that. In any case, I would rather be Lord Byron.' I tell him he looks more like Jim Davidson. `Oh. He won't thank you for that.'

Like Davidson, Ainsworth has had a brush or two with controversy, as when he recently admitted to having taken cannabis. As soon as I mention this, however, he shuts up like a clam. `I'm not talking about that. Not a word.' Not even an incy one, I coax? `No.'

As a newspaper diary pointed out, there is something else in his history. While at Oxford, Ainsworth wanted to invite the National Front to speak at the Oxford Union and was allegedly angry when he wasn't allowed to do it. He looks deeply embarrassed. `It was all about being irresponsible and young and wanting to poke the Lefties in the eyeball. It was foolish.' But was he a fellow traveller? He denies it vehemently.

I ask the shadow culture minister to show me an example of his poetry. He is coy. `No, really, no.' I insist and finally, with a wary expression, he pulls out a sheet from a drawer. `This is something I wrote after the Labour conference. It's not very good.'

Peter's not talking to Gordon

Who gave him a nasty look,

And David's not talking to Tony

And nobody's talking to Cook

And Jack doesn't think much of Cherie

And Clare thinks Jack should go,

And John won't talk to Robin

It's forbidden to talk to Mo