Coming out in college residence halls: Negotiation, meaning making, challenges, supports

Journal of College Student Development, Nov/Dec 1999 by Evans, Nancy J, Broido, Ellen M

7. Motivation to come out often had to do with environmental circumstances as much as internal pressures. Students talked about coming out because they were tired of hiding and wanted to have closer, more honest relationships with people. However, they also mentioned environmental factors such as (a) being interviewed by the media about a LGB issue, (b) attending a pride rally, (c) starting to date someone, (d) having a lesbian, gay, or bisexual friend visit, (e) transferring to a different institution, or (f ) living with a lesbian, gay, or bisexual roommate who was more out than they were. A few students also mentioned being pressured to come out by other lesbian, gay, or bisexual students or by heterosexual friends.

8. Participants had a high level of awareness of the complexities of life. The students had to struggle with complex questions without clear or universally appropriate answers (e.g., "Am I being harassed because I am gay, or because they don't like me for other reasons?" or "Is it better to come out or remain closeted?"). They gave thoughtful consideration to the multiple aspects of these questions, were able to consider the views of people very different from themselves, and were reluctant to label or ascribe motives to those hostile to them. For example, one student reflected on why his roommate might have been avoiding him: "I didn't know if (his avoiding me] was because he had noticed something-you know, figured out [I was gay], and he wanted to avoid me, or whether it was just his personality, [or] he got busy. I couldn't really tell."

9. Participants saw advantages and disadvantages both to being closeted and to coming out. Although the literature has generally focused on the disadvantages of being closeted (Cohen & Savin-Williams, 1996; Lee, 1977) and the advantages of coming out (Cohen & Savin-Williams; deMonteflores & Schultz, 1978), these participants were clear that each status had advantages and disadvantages. Stated advantages to being closeted included feelings of security and the ability to gain confidence in one's identity without harassment. One student who felt that being closeted was easier than being out noted that, "It's stressful [to be closeted], but I guess it's safer; you have that little protective door." Disadvantages mentioned by the participants of not disclosing one's identity included internal conflicts, fear of others finding out, needing to self-censor, and having to distance oneself from both the lesbian, gay, and bisexual community and from heterosexual students.

The advantages of being out that students noted included feelings of pride, authenticity, and relief. They appreciated being able to be open about who they were, and they were confident that they could handle others' reactions. They also felt that they could make a contribution if they were out. With regard to the latter point, one woman stated: "I think that I'm teaching [others] something as well. I think that the more normalcy that they see, the more normal things are, the better things will be."