A sermon preached at the burial liturgy for Patricia Wilson-Kastner

Anglican Theological Review, Spring 1998 by Campbell, Jean

A Sermon Preached at the Burial Liturgy for Patricia Wilson-Kastner

Christ and St. Stephen's Church, New York City 23 January, 1998

Wisdom 3:1-5,9

Romans 8: 14-19, 34,35,37-39 John 6:37-40

I have been numb for the past week. We all have been numb with the reality of the death of Patricia Wilson-Kastner. It is a numbness which makes me want to hide, to refuse to accept that Pat is dead, to refuse to talk with God, to face reality-to face into the truth of God in this place and in this liturgy.

Then Ron, her husband, asked me to preach and I was forced to break through the numbness, to attempt to break open the door to God. It was a journey I did not relish. But it was a journey that I had to take. I have to admit that when I opened the door, my rage and anger spewed forth at God: You are supposed to hold the righteous in the palm of your hand, you are supposed to protect and hold us in your healing embrace, why did you let Pat die? It all came rushing out.

As I began to read the scripture, I began to hear Pat's voice, a voice which has in many ways over the years prodded me toward the truth. When you preach, you have to pray and "prayer is not an address to God; it is listening and speaking with God, receiving from and offering to God. Prayer sustains our life because it is the gift of God's own life to us." I couldn't only rail at God, I had to listen-to sit and cry in the silence, to enter into the dialogue. To allow the Word of God "to feed me in confidence that it is manna in the desert that will feed us no matter how desolate or isolated our circumstances. . . To pray the Scriptures is to enter into them in the faith that they are the expressions of a world in which God was and is active, and that they are a means through which God here and now communicates with us."

It didn't take long for the scripture to begin to speak. Pat was one who demanded that we face the realities, to be faithful to the proclamation of God's love in Christ Jesus, to hear and know the truth proclaimed in the words of St. Paul:

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor power, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We are called to enter into the pain so that we can be held in the reconciling love of God. Pat knew this faith in the depths of her soul. It is the cross and resurrection which animated and sustained her in life, and embraces her in death. We have come here to celebrate, to celebrate the mystery of Pat's faithfulness, our faithfulness and most of all God's faithfulness. For God is tenacious, God will never let us go, no matter how much we are enmeshed in the sinfulness and death within us and around us. Pat lived this faith, and we are called to celebrate this faith and most of all, we are challenged to continue to live it.

Pat was a woman who believed, who hungered and thirsted for the fullness of life in Christ Jesus. She knew the importance of a disciplined interior life, partaking of the manna to be found in the Word of God and in the bread of the Eucharist. She knew how to be nourished in the life of Christ, who said: "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." Being well-fed was important to Pat, however, she was never content merely to satisfy her own needs-she took what she was given to nourish others around her.

With a breadth of love and a depth of faith, with inexhaustible passion, she entered into the fullness of life lived through the Gospel. She knew in the depths of her being the life and friendship of Jesus, and embraced her journey with passion, intellect, wonder, joy, humor and faithfulness. As teacher, theologian, preacher of the Gospel, priest of the Church, wife, sister, and friend, she invited us into her journey in Christ. It is a journey summarized in a few lines in the poem of W.H. Auden:

He is the Way. Follow him though the Land of Unlikeness: you will see rare beasts and have unique adventures. He is the Truth. Seek him in the Kingdom of Anxiety: you will come to a great city that has expected your return for years. He is the Life. Love him in the Word of the Flesh: and at your marriage all its occasions shall dance for joy.

Friendship with Pat and Ron meant opening up worlds to hear and to touch, to taste and to smell with joy and wonder. A home where literature, art, and music envelops one while enjoying a gourmet meal or a cup of tea, along with animated and at times profound conversation. An afternoon outing to a small gallery on 57th street to view a Katie Kollowitz exhibition or to the Metropolitan to sit in silence and prayer with the Byzantine Icons sparked hours of conversation and exploration. And where else could you be introduced to those rare beasts, the dogs which are larger than life, whose names evoke an hour of research to discover the story lurking behind their identity. To journey with Pat has been an invitation to be immersed in the lands of unlikeness-to see rare beasts and have unique adventures.