Fear and loathing in Michigan

Group, Nov/Dec 1999 by Drager, Chris

Thursday June 24

Dena's birthday is today, and I'm not even there to celebrate it. This stinks! I'm having a great time with Drew while Dena's with a tired and crabby baby. I sent flowers and a card asking her to go out with me on Saturday and she said yes. We're over our fight.

I miss Dena and Sophia. I never really understood what the big deal was for my volunteers until I got married and had to leave my family at home.

Friday June 25

Dena received a fax from Zion. They're going ahead with our loan for the full amount! What an amazing leap of faith for Zion. I feel relieved but still a little apprehensive.

Sunday June 27

Today was the service of Sending and Godspeed. Pastor Schade called us up front, shared a few memories, read from Scripture, spoke a word of blessing, and closed with a prayer. I didn't cry until after the service was over and I was shaking hands. When the Weinholds came through the line, I sort of lost it. I recovered nicely until Meyer came through and was crying. I recovered a second time and went to the fellowship hall for a reception.

While I was talking, the Umphenours left and Pat gave one of those "over the shoulder" looks that set me off again. I am really going to miss them, so I will put that goodbye off as long as possible.

Thursday July 1

Today we found out that I need homeowners insurance for the new house before we close. I hope there is enough time to get all of this done. This last-minute stuff makes me nervous.

Monday July 5

The garage sale went great even though it was 112 degrees outside. We're getting together with Bruce and Norma tomorrow. I'm so excited about seeing them-they've been a second family to me. Bruce was a groomsman and Norma was the hostess at our wedding. We built dozens of train layouts, traveled around the country; and had great times together. I'm going to have a tough time saying goodbye to them.

Tuesday July 6

The evening with Bruce and Norma was so normal-like old times. When I got home and after Dena went to bed, I broke out the "when I was single" photo albums and looked through them. There were a lot of family pictures that made me cry-which I really needed to do. I need to mourn my loss. It's like leaving my family all over again-only now there won't be any holiday visits or big vacations. I just needed to say goodbye in my own way.

Wednesday July 7 The church/school staff took us to lunch today. They gave me a card about all the crazy things that happened in our office and the food that is a constant affliction on our waistlines. There are those problems in life that can only be solved with a dozen doughnuts. It seems like we had those problems all the time! This goodbye wasn't hard for us because we are ready to go.

Pastor Henning put it best when he said, "You don't feel like you're welcome at Zion and you don't feel like you belong here anymore, so you tie a knot in the end of your rope and hang on." That's about it-we're in transition without roots. All we have to hang onto is our faith and one another.