Hands on help: Lifeskills

Group, Sep/Oct 2000 by Woodruff, Mike

photocopy and stay sane

Though the Palm Pilot crowd gains disciples every day, most of us are still scribbling our appointments in calendars and Day-Timers (not to mention the backs of our hands and McDonald's napkins).

If you're among those who can still plan their day without using any batteries, do yourself a favor and back up your system. Write a note on the last day of every month reminding yourself to photocopy your calendar and to-do list. This way, should you ever lose your calendar, you will not lose your mind.

rules for the all-day off-site

As the academic year kicks off, most of us will spend at least one day huddled in a planning session. These off-site meetings can be very profitable... or very painful. I offer the following guidelines to help you survive yours.

The 100-Mile Rule: No one can leave the meeting or even take a phone call that they wouldn't be willing to drive 100 miles to deal with. (Most things can wait eight hours).

The Good of the Whole Over the Good of the One Rule: Members of a leadership team need to think like members of senior management, not like department heads. The question isn't "What will work best for my area?" but "What will work best for the whole ministry?"

The Silence Equals Consent Rule: If members disagree with the group's direction, they must say so. Likewise if they're undecided. But if they're quiet, then everyone has the right to assume that they're in full support of the plan.

The Consensus Rule: It's impossible to get everyone to agree on everything, but everyone must be willing and able to offer his or her complete support-with vigoronce the meeting ends. (If they can't, then we're not finished.)

The Seek First to Understand and Then Be Understood Rule: Enough said.

The Conflict Is to Be Expected Rule: Conflict is to be expected and even embraced, but it must be dealt with in a timely and mature manner. (For example, attack problems not people.)

STRESS

take no prisoners

Life happens and things pile up, so once every other month schedule a day just to catch up.

Don't accept appointments. Don't answer the phone. Instead dress for combat and attack all of your unfinished projects. If you can bring the same attitude and intensity to this task that you naturally have on the day before you leave for vacation, you will go far.

class is always in session

In the contemporary debate over whether your 10, EQ, or AQ is most important, a more fundamental question gets lost. You really should be asking yourself: "Am I learning?" We can coast through our 20s on good looks and personality, but anyone who wants to make a substantial impact down the homestretch had better be growing in wisdom and knowledge long before they turn gray.

So how do you learn?

* Read books. My goal is to have three going at all times: a secular nonfiction work that's toward the top of the charts, a Christian classic that's clearly not, and something light and fun (think Grisham). The first two should challenge you. The last one is a reward.

* Skim magazines. About once a week, I grab my three sons and head for the library. While they fight over Harry Potter and the comics, I peruse the magazine racks. You can learn quite a bit about trends-and the mindlessness of our culture-by reading 250 magazine covers. Not only do I find insightful articles tucked away in periodicals I'd never subscribe to but also my wife gets a break for the evening.

* Think. I'm not trying to be cute when I say that I make it a point to think hard two or three times a week, and I think that's two or three times a week more than a lot of people. You need mental challenges that force you to expand your horizons and fire up the synapses.

* Teach. Several times a year, I sign up to teach on a topic I know very little about. Why? So I'll be forced to dig in and study a new issue. The panic created by a scheduled presentation not only drives me to read and study in ways I otherwise wouldn't but also forces me to organize my thoughts in a clear, compelling, and concise manner.

* Ask questions... of your neighbors and your friends. Question what you read and hear. Challenge the writers. What are the worldviews behind their thinking? What is a Christian response? How would St. Paul have responded?

My plea isn't that we learn just to learn. We certainly shouldn't make the mistake of confusing information with knowledge or knowledge with wisdom-but if we're going to overcome the noise and activity that can too easily fill our days, we must pursue learning. Otherwise we'll go wide, but not deep.

Mike Woodruff divides his time between directing the Ivy Jungle Network-a loose association of men and women who minister to collegians-and serving as an associate pastor in Illinois. He's the author of Managing Youth Ministry Chaos (Group Publishing, Inc.).