Adults

Group, Jan/Feb 2001

family renewal

PARENTS

Plan a Home Improvement Month and encourage families to participate in these ideas, adapted from The Family-- Powered Church by Pamela Erwin (Group Publishing, Inc.).

* Twelve hours of family prayer-Have family members come together for specific times of prayer during a given 12hour period on one Saturday during the month.

* A week of TV "fasting"-Set aside one week of the month for families to replace TV, rented movies, and videogames with other family-oriented activities. Have families sign up to accept the challenge.

* Family night at the "Y"-Plan a Saturday evening devoted to fun, food, and games at the local YMCA.

* Family progressive-game night-Have groups of families play various board games, such as Blurt!, Taboo, TriBond, Trivial Pursuit, and Pictionary. Families move from game to game, playing each one for a set amount of time. You may (or may not) decide to award prizes for the winners of each game or to award a grand prize at the end of the evening. (If needed, create family teams by combining single-parent and small families.)

it adds up

If you're looking for a way to honor those priceless, long-term adult leaders, how about a penny for every hour they've volunteered? Do the math-weekly meetings, retreats, and other eventsand you may find people who've volunteered hundreds of hours.

For each volunteer you wish to honor, fill a clear vase or container with the appropriate amount of pennies and add ribbon or raffia trimming, along with a card of thanks. Representing an adult leader's contribution in this visual way creates a powerful illustration of the time and service he or she has donated.

If you can afford it, donate an equal amount of money to a charitable cause in each volunteer's name.

VOLUNTEERS

delegating success

Good delegation means your adult leaders feel comfortable and supported taking on tasks for you-and you get the results you want! Here are some helpful tips:

* Describe why the task needs doing-and why it's important. Describe the activity in detail and the results you expect. Include the date it must be finished and the resources needed: other people, the budget, and any physical resources.

* Tell each person why you think he or she is the right person for the job.

* Encourage adult leaders to give you input into how assigned tasks should be handled.

* Ask your adult leader if he or she has any other questions or concerns about the task to be delegated, and invite the leader to speak to you as soon as he or she encounters difficulty.

* Thank your adult leaders for their assistance and support.

PARENTS

cleared for takeoff

What it is: Veteran youth ministry author and speaker Wayne Rice offers practical advice to parents of teenagers.

The scoop: This easy-to-read handbook presents 50 principles for raising healthy, well-adjusted children. Citing evidence that it's more difficult for today's kids to emancipate themselves from their parents than it was for earlier generations, Rice keeps our perspective on the long-range goal of helping kids attain self-sufficiency and real-life skills. He emphasizes the four R's--resourcefulness, respect,

responsibility, and reverence-while covering topics that include rites of passage, discipline, communication, vocational choices, encouraging kids' dreams, and resisting the urge to rescue. Rice doesn't include any discussion or reflection questions, but youth leaders could still make good use of his book for a parent workshop or a parent book club selection.

Cost: $12.99

Available from: Word Publishing, 800-9339673, 800-663-3133 (Canada).

Reviewer Kathleen Dieterich is grOUp Magazine's associate editor.

listen up

Are you a good listener? Although active listening is an essential skill for working with your adult leaders, many of us have never received any training in this area. We're taught to write, make presentations, and tell stories-but not to listen. Check out your listening skills by considering these suggestions:

* Are you planning your answer while the other person is still speaking? If so, you're not listening! You can't listen and prepare your response at the same time.

* Do you interrupt-perhaps because you've second-guessed the other person? You could be wrong. Just hold back on those assumptions.

* Are you judging the other person as he or she speaks? Clear those thoughts and focus on what's being said.

* Check your understanding by paraphrasing what you heard-this shows the other person you're committed to understanding his or her point of view.

* Good listeners focus 100 percent on the other person, not on themselves.

Contributor: Anne Walker