Hands on help: Life skills

Group, Jul/Aug 2002 by Woodruff, Mike

RELATIONSHIPS

mentors

A college commencement speaker once asked his graduates, Are you smarter today than you were four years ago?" In one voice they replied, "Yes." Then he asked, "Will you know more in 20 years than you do today?" Again, from across a sea of caps and gowns came one word, "Yes." "Good," he said, "then go home and ask your parents for advice. They've got 20 years on you.

You get my point. There are no "smart pills" to help us make wise decisions-only the Holy Spirit, experience, and friends. So after you've prayed for God's guidance, jot down the names of a half-dozen men and women whose wisdom and life skills you value. Then start inviting them for a cup of coffee and see where things head. Not everyone makes a good mentor, but almost every good leader has had someone who has invested into his or her life.

PERSONAL GROWTH

summer reading

Dante's The Inferno... The Brothers Karamazov ... Crime and Punishment. Summer is upon us, and just as surely as it brings pesky mosquitoes, it also brings pesky book lists.

Les Miserables... Frankenstein... The Pilgrim's Progress. "Pesky book lists?" you ask. What could be pesky about book lists? The Lord of the Rings... The Chronicles of Narnia ... The Old Man and the Sea. Simply this: They seldom recommend any work for which the ink has already dried. Anna Karenina .. Moby Dick ... Lord of the Flies.

Far be it from me to tell anyone what to read. But there's a wealth of great fictional books out there that not only have stood the test of time but also help us become better thinkers and better preachers. Of Mice and Men.. Animal Farm... anything by Shakespeare... you just might want to pick up a classic this summer.

COMMUNICATION

keeping a crisis from becoming a scandal

In recent months two organizations have garnered plenty of bad press: the Catholic Church and Arthur Andersen.

As a relatively poor Protestant-few stock market investments here-I can look on both messes from a safe enough distance to feel sympathy for those going under. But the more I read in the newspaper, the more I'm convinced that both organizations brought their woes upon themselves.

Why? Because when problems first arose, some of their leaders didn't seek solutions, they sought cover. And this isn't only incredibly poor management; it's also a violation of the very trust that both groups need to survive.

The truth is no thinking person expects any organizationnot even a church or an accounting firm-to be perfect. But they do expect honesty. And that means that when mistakes are made-or wrongdoings are uncovered-they're dealt with in a forthright manner.

As a youth pastor, you will get caught in a crisis. In fact, I'm certain that if your tenure goes to any length, you'll get caught in a crisis of your own making. The question is-Will it also be a scandal? Or, to state it another way: Will you run for cover, or will you exercise the kind of leadership that seems sorely lacking in our culture?

* When something under your care doesn't smell right, find out why. When someone is a bit too eager to chaperone the lock-in, or when the carwash didn't make quite as much money as you expected, tactfully find out why. After all, preventing a crisis is the best approach, and uncovering a problem immediately after it occurs is the second best.

* When you make mistakes, own them. John Kennedy survived the Bay of Pigs because he shouldered the blame. Watergate toppled Richard Nixon because he tried to cover up the initial break-in. Again, no one expects you to be perfect, but they do expect you to be honest.

* When you're in over your head, get help. People in the center of a crisis seldom think as clearly as those outside it do. If you're feeling overwhelmed, ask for help. Call the senior pastor or the chair of your church board and solicit their input. They may have the insight you need, and they also need to be brought quickly into the loop.

The Catholic Church will survive its mistakes; Arthur Andersen probably won't. But the real question is: Will you survive your next crisis?

Mike Woodruff divides his time between directing the Ivy Jungle Network-a loose association of men and women who minister to collegians-and serving as an associate pastor in Illinois. "Mentors" is adapted from his book Managing Youth Ministry Chaos (Group Publishing, Inc.).