Hands on help: Adults

Group, Jul/Aug 2002 by Beckner, Jim, Hannah, Jeff, Johnson, Tricia

PARENTS pancakes and personalities

Give your young people and their parents an opportunity to reach a deeper understanding about themselves and each other by bringing them together for this special event.

Invite parents and teenagers to a Sunday pancake brunch that follows your latest service. Also invite-and pay-someone who's trained to explain and administer personality tests, such as the DISC or Myers-Briggs.

Spend the first part of the event eating and socializing, and then spend the rest of the time determining teenagers' and parents' personality types. Be sure the person who's administering the tests adds spiritual tie-ins as well.

Have parents and their children match up with each other toward the end of the event to compare and contrast their results.

branching out ADULTS

If you're at a new church or a large church, it's easy to got isolated within your youth ministry-sitting with teenagers, eating with teenagers... doing everything with your kids. Here's how you can reach out and connect to other adults.

* Join an adult Sunday school class;

* Take trips with the senior adults;

* Get involved in other ministries in the church; and

* Go out to eat with people who have no bearing on your job as youth leader.

Making the effort to get to know others not only brings personal benefits but also increases support for the youth group.

fear of delegating LEADERS

Handing off routine tasks and special projects to our adult leaders frees us to concentrate on those things that only we do can do, right? So why don't we do more of it? Here are the top three reasons, adapted from "Mastering the Art of Delegation" in Communication Briefings (www.briefings.com).

1. We think we can do it better. We may be right about this-in the short term-because adult leaders will need more time to accomplish jobs that have a learning curve. We'll likely spend more time training them than it would take us to do the job ourselves, but once they're up and running, their productivity-and ours-will rise dramatically.

2. We don't want to give up an enjoyable part of our job. It's hard to let go of something we really like doing. If this is a task that takes a chunk of time out of our schedule, though, and someone else could easily handle it for us, it's better to make the sacrifice for the sake of our ministry.

3. We worry that someone will show us up. Actually, as leaders, our duty is to challenge others to outperform us. Otherwise, we limit our own growth and encourage mediocrity rather than excellence.

when teens stray PARENTS

What it is: Author Scott Larson, co-founder of Straight Ahead Ministries, draws on his expertise and years of experience to offer parents of troubled teenagers practical strategies.

The scoop: This book will be a godsend for any parent whose world has been turned upside down by a rebellious teenager. Larson's wise perspective should also benefit all those who parent or work with young people, regardless of whether or not they're sailing smoothly through adolescence. What makes Larson's approach so unique is his principle of "parenting for the long haul... trying to make each day's decisions with a mind toward five or 10 years from now." His long-term emphasis provides a framework for questions such as, "What battles am I going to fight?" "How can I be sure I'm doing the right thing?" and "What critical issues threaten the safety of my child and family?" Drawing on real-life experiences, Larson exposes common myths parents hold about their kids (if I do the right thing my children will turn out fine), as well as myths parents hold about parenting (my child would change if I prayed more). Other topics he addresses include protecting your marriage, building a support network, and recognizing situations that require outside help.

Strict advocates of "tough love" won't find validation here, but those who've learned that a hard-line approach doesn't work with every child will discover encouragement, compassion, and biblical truth.

Cost: $10.99

Available from: Servant Publications, (734) 677-1284.

Reviewer Kathleen Dieterich is associate editor of group Magazine.

parents, inc. PARENTS

If your ministry would profit from the involvement of more parents, make them an offer to invest not money, but time, in a venture that's guaranteed to bring rewards.

Create a fancy brochure to advertise your new "corporation," Parents, Inc. Include your bylaws, strategies, and youth ministry philosophy. Offer every parent the chance to be on the "board of directors" if he or she is willing to invest two hours a month for a Sunday afternoon meeting and one night a month to help with a youth activity.

At the monthly meeting, have parents brainstorm activities for the following month and enlist volunteers to help. Some types of involvement might be providing food for the large-group meeting; opening their homes for Bible studies, video nights, or holiday parties; taking a three-hour shift during a lock-in; or shuttling kids to and from events. Also, invite a teenager to attend the meeting and tell parents something about what God has been doing in his or her life through the youth ministry.