Ban the bribes!

Group, Sep/Oct 2002 by Chromey, Rick

how to motivate teenagers to grow spiritually without using rewards, gimmicks, and gadgets

"Al right, here's the deal on this month's contest-whoever brings the most friends to youth group wins this XBox system!"

"If you guys raise $500 for the missions offering, I'll shave my head!"

'If every person in the group memorizes this week's verse, we'll have a pizza party next week!"

Promises, promises. I'm guessing you've made a few in your time as a youth worker. Ever wish you hadn't? I do, and I don't use them to motivate my kids anymore.

sanctified bribery

Bribery is a common practice in youth ministry. We'll use anything-gifts and gadgets, treasures and treats-to motivate our kids to do something.

Memorize a Scripture passage at summer camp? Candy prizes.

Good behavior on the bus? Ice cream treats.

Attendance records? I know a youth minister who gave away a car. He got his record, but only for that week.

In my experience, the rewards strategy is a baited trap that can snap shut on your ministry. If you use rewards to motivate, you've probably heard your teenagers say things such as:

"What do we get next week?"

"It's not fair; they always win!"

"We'll do it if you

"What's in it for me?"

"Does it count for anything?"

"What do I get if I'm good?"

External motivators produce some not-so-- rewarding consequences. Alfie Kohn, in his landmark work Punished by Rewards' (Houghton Mifflin Co.), spotlights several reasons why reward motivators fail.

Rewards ignore the reasons. Why won't teenagers behave unless you dangle a treat in front of them? Why won't kids bring their friends without incentives? Why won't adolescents memorize Scripture without a prize as bait? Why won't your students tithe without your promise of self-- humiliation? If you must trick them with a treat, then the reasons weak.

Rewards discourage risk taking. The recent Olympic women's figure skating championship is a great example of this truth. Michelle Kwan skated safely to preserve a medal. In contrast, Sarah Hughes thought she had little shot at the gold, so she performed for no other reward than pure passion. Many commentators felt Kwan focused more on the medal, while Hughes immersed herself in the moment (and won gold).

Rewards rupture relationships. I've watched many Scripture memory competitions erode into bickering and bartering. Kid against kid. Parent against leader. Leader against teenager. Ultimately, to have a winner there must also be losers. Which begs the question: Should the church be in the business of creating losers? Do we teach a hidden (and erroneous) message that despite being "good," you can still lose?

Rewards punish. In the end, the sweet treat is a bitter pill. Team competitions (such as TV's Survivor series) are the clearest example of this point. Ever notice how some teams or individuals simply quit trying once failure is imminent?

And then there's second place. I was ringside at a middle school vacation Bible school that was entirely fueled by rewards. Everything had points attached-from memorizing verses to winning games to volunteering. Unfortunately, the week finished in a flurry of fights, charges of cheating, and not a few tears. Despite the obvious, the leaders never wised up to why it happened. "Kids these days," I heard one worker mutter

The problem is rewards do work. External motivators almost always produce the desired results. Teenagers do bring their Bibles and buddies. They do behave better.

But what happens when we "massage the message" by dangling a bribe in front of our kids? We teach them that there's no intrinsic merit to what we're teaching about or asking them to do.

The greatest test of a bribe is to simply remove it and see what happens. If you can't motivate your teenagers without bribing them, then something's wrong.

feed the need, not the greed

So what's the solution? Simple. Think "borborygmus." A borborygmus is that hunger-produced growl in your gut. Your stomach stirs only when it's seeking sustenance. And nothing satisfies that hunger like real food-a starving man doesn't need a gimmick to motivate him to eat. In the same way, teenagers are hungry for spiritual food. They're starving for attention. Their souls are growling for grace. So feed their need, not their greed.

Every teenager has six basic needs they're hungry to meet. Youth ministries that focus on these "growls" will find little need to dole out gifts and gimmicks to win kids' hearts.

1. The Growl of Grace

All teenagers hunger for unconditional love. Youth ministries that plot a "conspiracy of grace" will draw kids more powerfully than those that plan silly contests. Ironically, gimmicks and bribes short-circuit grace. Grace is unmerited favor-you're a winner even if you're last.

So how do you foster grace?

First, make forgiveness a bedrock for your ministry. Each fall, look at your incoming freshmen and forgive them. I have often gazed into the eyes of the kids in my high school Sunday school class and prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know (and sometimes, don't know) what they do." Grace forgives the past, fortifies the present, and points toward the future. Grace-full youth ministries don't hold grudges. Kids make mistakes and messes, so mop up and move on. Second, encourage and affirm your teenagers at every possible opportunity. Adolescence is a minefield of bombs that can dismember a teenager's body, soul, and mind. Sometimes our affirming words are the only bomb-defusers in our kids' lives.