3 mile-makers of success, The

Group, Mar/Apr 2003 by Mayo, Jeanne

special series: ASSESSING YOUR SUCCESS

Is your ministry effective? If your answer is a vague "I guess so," how do you really know when you're making a lasting impact? We asked three sharp youth ministers who have more than six decades of experience among them to offer their best advice for assessing your ministry's success. We start the series with Jeanne Mayo.

On a cold December night, I said farewell to the youth ministry I'd led for 13 incredible years in Rockford, Illinois. On my last night at the church, the team members I was leaving behind organized a special celebration titled "Legacy"--it was an evening of reflection, laughter, and love. One by one, these dear people told how the ministry had permanently marked their lives. At the close of the service they honored me with a platinum ring that was inscribed "A Legacy of No Regrets."

As I reflect on that unforgettable night, I see more clearly the mile-markers that pointed the way to enduring success. Did they include the crowds that showed up at our amphitheater every Wednesday night? No. What about the national recognition that came my way? No. Or how about the spiritual fireworks that often characterized our weekly services? Nope.

number 1: success mile-marker

You know you're a success in youth ministry when teenagers take you for granted and fail to appreciate all you do.

This one might sound strange, but when you parallel your youth ministry to Christ's experience with his disciples, it makes sense. The 12 guys on his ministry team never sang "How Great Thou Art" to him. In fact, they often seemed unimpressed by the sacrifices Jesus made to minister among them. They were quick to fall asleep when he asked them to pray, quick to lose their tempers when he didn't give them their way, and quick to act like they didn't even know him when they were threatened.

Looking back on my years in youth ministry, I believe discipleship is a love/hate relationship. We can't significantly impact our students unless we spend time with them. Yet the more time we spend with them, the more they take us for granted.

Just before I announced I would be leaving my ministry in Rockford, I was in the ladies restroom prior to our Wednesday night youth service. Hidden behind the stall doors, I had no choice but to eavesdrop on a few teenage girls who came running in to make their final glamour check. One girl told her friend how "boring" she thought my talks were. They quickly finished and ran out the door laughing, unaware that I'd overheard the whole thing. I managed to smile and remind myself that "God's not out to hurt my pride; he's out to kill it!" I walked out of the restroom, notes in hand, to give another one of my "boring talks."

A week later, when I announced I was moving to another church, guess who lingered to tell me what a difference I'd made in her life? Guess who tearfully told me no one would ever be able to take my place? And guess who quietly asked me if we were sure we were doing the right thing? That's right, it was my restroom ego-booster!

So, what had changed? Nothing, except she realized I wasn't going to be around much longer. Did it bother me? Not really. As I read the New Testament, the 12 in Christ's "youth group" weren't too impressed with him either-at least not until his Father moved him to a new location.

number 2: success mile-marker

You know you're a success when you've been in one place long enough to have "remember when" stories.

Persistence is the greatest revenge on hell. In our dysfunctional society, where complete family units are an endangered species, we can define successful youth ministry with three words: Just be there. Sounds simple, but in a world of "rotating relationships," a long-haul ministry can't be overrated.

Conversations about the "night the bus engine caught on fire four years ago coming home from our fall retreat" are key markers of success, as long as you're consciously creating new memories today. It's dangerous to recycle the same stories over and over in your mind. I've been in full-time ministry for more than three decades, and I still push myself to generate fresh stories. Without fresh stories, I won't have a fresh heart. I fear that I might stand before Christ one day with an enlarged youth ministry but a shrunken heart.

Over time, youth ministry can degenerate into a boring, unfulfilling task even to the best of us. It takes sheer determination to create new stories with new kids. I recently led a student named CJ to the Lord-he's my fresh story in the making. With God's help, I'm determined to authentically befriend CJ so one day he can write his own stories in the lives of students.

number 3: success mile-marker

You know you're a success when you fight to remain a voice, not an echo.

There are many echoes in youth ministry-people who merely mimic the culture's values rather than fight to be a distinct voice for biblical values, I'm not talking about legalism or nitpicking about music styles or body piercing. I'm talking about being a prophetic voice in the lives of our young people voice that has something to say about character, conscience, and conviction. It requires no energy or backbone to simply echo what kids want to hear.