Bridging the communication gap

Group, Nov/Dec 2003 by Neill, Joe

You need something old and something new to stay in touch with your kids and their parents. Here's how to maximize your ongoing connections with them.

Instant messaging has revolutionized the way teenagers communicate, but you can't say the same for their parents. And that's the rub-you have to communicate with both groups. That's why I use a mixture of old and new communication strategies in my ministry.1

THE TRIED & TRUE

1. Snail-mail letters and postcards-Even in the digital age, old-fashioned letters and postcards still get the best responses from both kids and parents. But just because they're old school, they don't have to look boring. I've created my own low-budget letterhead using free downloadable fonts (www.1001freefonts.com) with our ministry logo at the top. And I often use graphics from my Zondervan ArtSource 3.0: CD-ROM Clip Art Library (www.churchpartner.com/worship/bibles/artsource.htm).

You don't have to be a design genius to create catchy postcards. Microsoft Publisher (www.microsoft.com/office/publisher) has several postcard templates that are easily customizable. Be sure to include your email address on all printed items so Web-savvy kids and parents can respond the way they want to.

2. Sign-up sheets-Early in my ministry, I slapped up sign-up sheets with event names and waited for kids to respond. I treated sign-up sheets as a way for kids to communicate to me, but not the other way around. Now I know sign-up sheets can be a powerful communication tool. For example:

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS LIGHTLY; YOU NEED INSTANT MESSAGING!

If you have 12 kids in your group, and you want them to invite their friends to your events, don't put 43 blanks on your sign-up sheet. Try 20 slots instead. Then, when the kids see that it's half full, they won't worry about being the only ones going.

* Post a flier about the event next to the sign-up sheet so your overscheduled kids can make an informed decision.

* Always collect a deposit for the event at the time kids sign up for it-nothing communicates "I'm going on the winter retreat" like cold, hard cash.

3. Calendars-Most of my kids don't plan more than 24 hours in advance, so when they look at a calendar it's like gazing into eternity. I still put together a monthly and quarterly calendar-mostly for the parents' sake, but also for mine. There are few things that I despise hearing more than, "We didn't know about the trip, so my husband and I planned our vacation for that week."

Many families have to plan their vacation months in advance, and you communicate respect when you plan ahead. Microsoft Publisher has a handy calendar template you can use to create and print calendars. If you're looking for something a little more flashy, check out Church Art Works' new calendar CD-ROM (www.churchartworks.com).

4. Newsletters-A newsletter can be a nice complement to your monthly calendar and a window into your ministry for other church members who may have little contact with the youth program.2 In my monthly newsletter, I include a synopsis of last month's activities, a parenting segment that highlights a Web site, book, or some other parenting resource, and a brief column with a detailed look at the purpose behind our upcoming events.

I've also used columns written by students to give them a voice in the church, offered family devotional ideas, listed popular Christmas gift ideas from our local Christian bookstore, and announced upcoming youth talk themes.

Not a writer? If you're a group subscriber you can use group Magazine's free parent newsletter, The Home Page, to keep parents in the youth ministry loop (download it at www.groupmag.com). TeamCE.com also has a handy newsletter tool for subscribers (www.teamCE.com). If you write your own newsletter, save paper by printing it right on the back of your calendar. Save even more paper by making them both available via email or on the Web.

5. Parent meetings-These days, it's next to impossible to corral a large percentage of parents on the same day at the same time. If you're like me, you put too much time and effort into your parent meetings to let them go to waste. To maximize your communication with parents, consider these ideas:

* Put together parent meeting doggie bags-This is basically a "to go" version of a parent meeting. Make an audio tape or burn a CD with all of the things you would normally say at your parent meeting. Photocopy your notes and be sure to include some parent-related Web sites or book reviews. Throw it all in a brown paper lunch bag and have your kids pass them out to parents as they leave church.

* Hold parent-pastor conferences-Instead of the typical parent meeting, block out a week of your schedule and have parents sign up for individual meetings with you. I think you'll find that parents have a lot more questions than they usually voice in the group setting.

6. Phone calls-I can still remember getting a weekly phone call from my cell-group leader when I was in youth group. These were never earth-shattering conversations, but it was always nice to know that somebody was thinking about me.