Ask & receive

Group, Nov/Dec 2003

GIVE AND TAKE

I find that people tend to disregard my need for personal time because I don't have a family. How do other single youth leaders balance their lives and ministries?

Being a single youth leader, I love that I can spend a lot of time with youth, but I also know how easy it can be to fall into the trap of constantly doing "church stuff" and having the church expect that. My solution has been to make sure that on my days off, I stay away from church. I will go spend the day with friends who don't go to my church or who live a little ways away. I find that spending time with people who don't go to my church makes it much easier to relax and not constantly turn the conversation back to church business. When I just want to stay home, I screen my phone calls (cell phone included) for the day. We can't minister 24/7 without time to refuel, and we shouldn't be expected to. Most of all don't feel guilty about taking the time to focus on you. Your relationship with God is the most important thing, in fact the closer we get to God, the better we minister to others!

Brittany Overbeck

Felton, California

I've managed to work out a couple of different ways of managing this frustration. First, my family (parents and brothers) live about an hour away, so I started going to spend the night at home one night a week. My students have all figured out that's my family night, and so I'm not at home. In fact, they've gotten pretty good at remembering to not even call my cell phone on that night. Second, I take some mornings off while students are in school. That way I can go fishing, get errands taken care of, or just sleep in, while getting some valuable time off.

Brock Paulk

Alvin, Texas

In conversations with kids and adults alike, don't be afraid to mention what wears you down and what recharges you-time alone, time in the Scriptures, time with friends your own age. This helps others see that you're human, too, and your personal time away from the ministry actually impacts your time spent in the ministry because you're recharged. On the practical side, use your answering machine, voice mail, and caller ID judiciously to set boundaries for your personal time. Many calls to your home could be handled just as well the next day at the office.

Faith Bosland

South Windsor, Connecticut

What you may need to do is get a life! If you have no other passions or interests outside your ministry, people will assume that your ministry is all you care to do. Find something that you can immerse yourself in outside your ministry-you may even find it to be therapeutic. It could be music, reading, or physical activity. . . If people see that you have an outside interest or hobby to keep you busy, they'll be much more likely to respect your personal time.

Jeremy Fuerst

Omaha, Nebraska

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

As a result of an earlier ministry attempt that lost support, I've inherited a large number of unchurched students from the community. I'm committed to make this work, but on the nights the community kids attend, the "church" kids have stopped coming, and their parents even allow them to attend other churches. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Anonymous

Via Internet

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