'GRIEVING GARDENS' HONOR DEAD STUDENTS

Group, Sep/Oct 2004 by Martin, Stephanie

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, Calif.-To remember young people who've died, many high schools are now planting grieving gardens. Advocates say they provide closure and help focus on hope and life.

At California's Santana High School, a "peace garden" honors two students killed in a 2001 school shooting. Spokeswoman Catherine Martin says, "The focus isn't covering up, but remembering what happened and the sanctity of human life."

Plaques in a garden at Summit High School in Breckenridge, Colorado, honor students who've died from various causes. Parent volunteer Prudence Bishop says kids feel comforted knowing "if something happens to me, at least someone will know that I was here."

But some school officials warn against memorial plaques-especially for suicide-because young people are so open to imitation.

Ohio's Ashland High School has a memorial garden with one simple plaque. "We didn't want kids thinking, 'My name could be next,'" says teacher Eric Mayer. "We didn't want to make it a cemetery."

David Munoz, an assistant principal in California, says, "When you have a tragedy, you want to make sure your students understand that you really care about their loss, whether it be moments of silence or the tradition of the garden. There's a time to feel sad."

Source: Associated Press

What types of memorials have you seen at schools, and what feelings have they evoked in you? Do you think grieving gardens are a positive or negative trend? Explain. What are the most appropriate and sensitive ways to honor young people who die prematurely? Should memorials differ for students killed in school shootings as opposed to those who commit suicide? Explain.

Are there any right or wrong ways to grieve? Explain. Should people ever be told to grieve-or how to grieve? How long should "a time to mourn" last, and why? Does having a permanent reminder of tragedy keep wounds fresh? keep the deceased "alive" in people's memories? Explain. How might grieving gardens help survivors heal? What elements are required for a memorial to provide closure? hope? peace?

Do you think memorials make kids worry about their own mortality? encourage others to seek similar attention? Explain.

How can school officials, parents, and pastors show sensitivity to loss and grief? If your school had a grieving garden, would you use it for reflection? avoid it? Would you wonder if your name would end up there? If you died during high school, would you want to be honored with a memorial? Why or why not? If so, what type would you prefer, and how would you like people to experience it?

Scripture links: Joshua 4:1-9; Job 14:7-12; Ecclesiastes 3:1-8; Isaiah 40:6-8; 2 Corinthians 5:1-10; and 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18.

STEPHANIE MARTIN is a contributing editor for group and writes weekly Breaking News discussion starters for group's online resource MinistryandMedia.com. She's a freelance writer and editor in Colorado.