A PRACTICAL THEOLOGY OF... CELL PHONE ABUSE

Group, Jan/Feb 2005 by Surdacki, Walter

3. CLEAR SPACE TO SEE AND HEAR GOD.

At a youth group event we expect God to show up. The Bible tells us that when we gather together God is in our midst. We come together to enjoy him, to worship him, to listen to him. And nothing will shatter an intimate moment with God faster than the ring of a cell phone.

TO DO: Challenge your kids to embrace seasons of simplicity in their life by turning off their cell phones for an hour and trusting that God will meet them in the space that's left.

4. THERE'S A TIME AWO PLACE FOR EVERYTHING.

It's impractical and unnecessary to banish cell phones completely from your ministry. For example, it makes sense for your teenagers to call their parents on their way home from an event so they know your ETA. However, at a regular youth group event (a midweek small group or Sunday school) we ask that cell phones stay invisible and silent until things are over. At retreats and camps, we ask that cell phones don't even make the trip because we want teenagers to experience the solitude a retreat or camp can offer.

TO DO: Develop a policy on cell phone usage in your ministry based on characteristics you're trying to develop in your teenagers-love, kindness, patience, self-control, and so on. Introduce your policy using the fruits of the Spirit as a framework (Galatians 5:22). Over time your teenagers, as members of the faith community, can develop the wisdom to discern the proper time and place f or turning on and off their cell phones on their own.

5. MODEL IT!

Don't take calls when you're interacting with teenagers. Let them know you've set aside this time to be available only to them. When my wife and I told our high schoolers that we turn the ringer off and the answering-machine volume all the way down when we host their Bible study at our house, their astonishment surprised us. (I think they were flattered.)

TO DO: Ask your teenagers to consider how others feel when they interrupt a conversation to answer a call, or they click over to take another call. Ask: How do you feel when your friends decline to take a call or click over because they're talking to you? What are subtle ways you can communicate that you value each and every interaction with another person? What kind of environment lays the foundation for deeper conversations?

Before next year's Senior Kidnapping Day, I'll ask my kids' parents to help me. I'll give them my cell phone number in case of emergencies, tell the seniors this is how we did it Old School, and spend one day of the year enjoying some uninterrupted fun.

1 We build up relational credit when we minister to our teenagers in ways they appreciate, but we spend that credit when we act in ways they don't appreciate.

2 Scripture passages that frame our "body" relationships with each other as "true family" include Matthew 12:48-50; Galatians 6:10; and Hebrews 13:1-17.

WALTER SURDACKI is a veteran youth pastor in California.