Top Ten Workplace Communication Skills: How They Can Make Work Work For You!

Credit & Financial Management Review, Fourth Quarter 2003 by Hunter, Scott

Abstract

If everyone would like to work in a thriving, enlivening and nurturing environment, why is it that almost no one loves being at work? Why is it that most of us simply acquiesce when confronted by the drudgery and suffering that, according to seemingly every statistical measure, characterizes life within many companies? Why is it that given the possibility of real fulfillment and satisfaction demonstrated by championship teams and by other successful organizations, we tolerate the gossip, petty jealousy, personal undermining and adversarial communication that seem to pervade many offices, assured of the inevitability of this condition?

Is this condition inevitable? Are we destined to an environment where the most we have to look forward to is Friday afternoon? Not at all. There are specific steps that can be taken to begin to reclaim some of the enthusiasm, some of the air of celebration and some of the fundamental respect for individual human dignity that is apparent within flourishing business organizations or on championship teams. This article explores these steps.

Why Doesn't Work Work?

Recently, I was riding an elevator down from a Friday afternoon visit to the high-rise offices of a consultant friend, when the car stopped on one of the lower floors. After the doors opened, two well-dressed professional women in their late twenties trudged in simultaneously. They slumped against the handrail, knowingly exchanged exhausted glances, and then released long relieving sighs.

"What happened to you two," I asked.

"We work for XYZ COMPANY," replied the first matter-of-factly.

"Thank God its the weekend," rejoiced the second.

After more than 18 years as a management coach and consultant to hundreds of service organizations and a wide variety of companies, I am convinced that the sentiment expressed by these two capable and self-assured women was certainly not unique to their company or even to companies in general.

If everyone would like to work in a thriving, enlivening and nurturing environment, why is it that almost no one loves being at work? In fact, a recent study reported that only six percent of the polled people said they loved their jobs.

A Championship Team

Contrast the environment within the typical company with the vitality and enthusiasm of a championship sports team. Have you watched baseball's world series, the NBA playoffs, the Stanley Cup finals? The winning teams eluded an air of celebration and unstoppability. The players pull together despite their individual positions on the field, court or ice. On the sidelines they seem to genuinely care about one another, and they seem able to include and resolve their personal differences. Which of us wouldn't want this kind of excitement and aliveness duplicated in our workplace? Yet in the face of this possibility, the management and employees within most companies seem resigned to the impossibility of its fulfillment.

Why is it that most of us simply acquiesce when confronted by the drudgery and suffering that, according to seemingly every statistical measure, characterizes life within many companies? Why is it that given the possibility of real fulfillment and satisfaction demonstrated by championship teams and by other successful organizations, we tolerate the gossip, petty jealousy, personal undermining and adversarial communication that seem to pervade many offices, assured of the inevitability of this condition?

Recently, these fundamental failures have been popularly discussed in the context of codependency. The notions of codependency assert that children learn to communicate within the family system in order to ensure their own survival and the satisfaction of their own needs. As adults these structures of behavior and communication have become habitual and involuntary, and they provide the worldview through which all of our experience and perception are filtered and interpreted.

The result of these codependent behaviors is an environment of suppressed emotion, distrust, alienation, anger and a pervasive sense of personal insufficiency. Individual attention is on oneself: trying to make it; trying to prove one's adequacy; trying to garner acknowledgement; trying to gain approval and appreciation.

The typical work environment has become one in which many of us feel that no one appears to really care, and no acknowledgement takes place. Errors and mistakes provoke attack, derision and reprimand, while correct and even excellent performance goes seemingly unnoticed and unappreciated. Risk taking and creativity are inhibited, distrust increases, communication is suppressed, attorneys complain that staff members aren't motivated, and we express our natural enthusiasm on the weekend in gardening, in tennis or in community service.

Is this condition inevitable? Are we destined to an environment where the most we have to look forward to is Friday afternoon? Not at all. There are specific steps that can be taken to begin to reclaim some of the enthusiasm, some of the air of celebration and some of the fundamental respect for individual human dignity that is apparent within flourishing business organizations or on championship teams: