12 SEXUAL ABUSE OF BOYS BY CLERGY

Adolescent Psychiatry,  2004  by Ponton, Lynn,  Goldstein, Dana

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Gradually, with my assistance, Garth admitted that he believed that he needed the sexual fantasies of the molestation to heighten his own sexual excitement. He believed that at first, the fantasies had been unwelcome intruders into his developing sexual life, but that now he could not get along without them. Over several months, we tried to focus on the part of the fantasy that was so necessary, and two things emerged. First, Garth felt conflicted about his own sexually aggressive feelings. He did not want to hurt others in the way that the priest had hurt him, yet he needed a feeling of sexual power or force to feel aroused. In a manner of speaking, he borrowed this power from his memories of the sexual encounter with the priest, the same encounters that had robbed him of his ability to be sexually aggressive. For months we focused on helping Garth become more comfortable with being assertive-first at work, and then, finally, with dating. Once Garth was able to feel better about his own sexual aggression, it lessened both his need for the fantasy and his frustration about having to use it.

A second subject that we discussed at length was how young he had been when these fantasies became part of his sexual life. They were not something that he chose or had control over. He recognized that his memories of these unfortunate sexual experiences were now integrated into his early sexual development and would be very difficult, if not impossible, to completely eradicate. Our frank discussion of this provided some comfort for Garth, and he came to accept that at least some part of these fantasies would always be part of his sexual life. Changing how he viewed them was key, however. He started looking for ways that he could claim them and make them actively his own. An example of this was our work together on the symbolism of hands. Although Garth frequently associated the fantasy of hands with the punitive, confining hands of the abusing priest, he also saw them as powerful tools, useful in masturbating. The second fantasy was more acceptable to him, and we worked to pair the two so that he could experience a fantasy that was stimulating and not unacceptably humiliating. This type of work lessened the anger and shame that he had formerly connected with these fantasies.

It is important to understand that psychological work on sexual fantasies surrounding abuse takes a long time and requires a patient's willingness to look at his or her feelings and make changes, tasks that require tremendous courage on the part of the patient. Garth had that, but many victims of sexual abuse are not able to commit themselves to this type of effort. Our study also found that boys abused before age 13, as Garth was, have more psychological symptoms. His case and that of others raise the question of whether or not early abuse has a more significant impact on sexual fantasies.

Case 2: Joseph-Decades of Silence

Joseph was in his mid-50s when he decided to come forward and talk about the sexual abuse that occurred during his early adolescence. Several factors played a role in his decision to finally tell his story. During the preceding five years, the political climate had changed, as more men and boys came forward with their experiences of sexual abuse at the hands of clergy members. Both public and private legal actions had been taken, and the victims participating in these efforts had been encouraged to seek treatment. Joseph, too, had participated in a legal action.