Humility in Christ: The foundation for Christian friendship

Spiritual Life, Summer 2000 by Yohe, Katherine M

Nobody is too good for the meanest service. One who worries about the loss of time that such petty, outward acts of helpfulness entail is usually taking the importance of his own career too solemnly.9

The fact that Christian humility is a lowliness directed toward service in Christ protects it from slipping into despair, depression, or self loathing. Jesus served so effectively because he had, in reality, an infinite worth. We too must have worth, energy, and abilities to serve. Jesus did not serve mindlessly as a doormat, stepped on by any who pass by. His service toward others was done with dignity and free will, in accord with the Father's perfect will. Because this was so, he refused certain requests that were contrary to the Father's plan and which, in the long run, wouldn't having truly served those who requested them. He did not work a miracle, on demand, for the scribes and Pharisees, and he refused to be the type of king the mobs begged him to be.

The indwelling of the Spirit in Christian friends affects the manner and type of their service. They assist each other in the same way any good friends would-driving to airports, cooking meals, babysitting, lending a sympathetic ear, assisting with the building of an addition, or fixing cars-but can do so in a different spirit. Because the relationship is in Christ's spirit, the service can be performed in the love and joy of Christ, or as Paul says, "with the affection of Jesus Christ" (Phil 1:8). The services can also be performed through the wisdom and promptings of Christ. I have known friends to seek in prayer what gift to buy for a friend, how to help a friend who is down, or were prodded through prayer to call or visit a friend. The delight such services produce testifies that the Spirit knows the details of our hearts' desires and is capable of inspiring a friend's service.

There are also explicitly spiritual ways that friends can serve in Christ. We can pray and fast for each other, with the Spirit's groanings adding to our own pleadings (Rom 8:26-27). Miracles do happen through the prayers of friends. God can also honor the heartfelt prayers of friends by giving an almost tangible sense of his presence. More common, and no less important, are the inner peace and comfort gained by knowing we are not alone in our pain but are united with our friends in Christ as we suffer. Friends can also offer spiritual counsel and correction. Indeed, I've been blessed by what amounts to significant pastoral care from good friends. The Book of Proverbs recognized this aspect of friendship when it notes that "iron is sharpened by iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friends" (27:17).

The humble service that friends provide for each other in Christ has the double effect of deepening their union with each other and deepening their union with Christ. Actively exercising our love for a friend increases that love, for love, as a virtue, grows through practice. Likewise, our friends' love for us is normally increased when they see us live out our love for them: their gratitude and appreciation grow, their desire to serve in return grows. As two friends grow in their love for one another through their service to one another, they simultaneously grow in Christ: "Love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God," and, "If we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us" (1 Jn 4: 7, 12).