Adolescent identity: Peers, parents, culture and the counselor

Counseling and Human Development, Apr 1999 by Blewitt, Pamela, Broderick, Patricia C

The search for identity, considered the primary developmental task of the adolescent period, is very much affected by the social world: peers, parents, schools, and neighborhoods. All are in turn influenced by the cultural and historical context in which the adolescent's identity is formed. Counselors and therapists who support adolescents through their explorations and struggles must consider the impact of these multiple, interdependent factors, because no single factor or influence fully explains any developmental outcome. In this article we present one model of the mechanism for social identity development and explore recent research on the influence of peers, parents, schools, leisure, work, and culture on that process. We conclude with a discussion of implications for professionals who work with adolescents.

ADOLESCENT SOCIAL IDENTITY: SELTZER'S MODEL

As a balmy October turned into a frigid November, 12-year-old Tamara's mother repeatedly suggested to her daughter that they go shopping to replace Tamara 's outgrown winter jacket. Tamara refused. She said she wasn't sure what sort of jacket she wanted, admitting that it depended on what the other girls in her class would be wearing. As yet, the key girls had not yet worn jackets to school, despite the cold. They, too, were waiting and watching! Finally, in mid-December, one popular girl in the seventh-grade class capitulated to her mother's demands and made a jacket choice. Tamara and her classmates at last knew what to wear.

Parents and teachers are often perplexed, even dismayed, by the importance of peers to the adolescent. Why would an otherwise sensible young person become so dependent upon the actions and choices of others? What role do parents and other concerned adults play in an adolescent's life when peers become so important? Dependence upon peers is a normal and important developmental process for the young adolescent. As you will see, the search for identity that characterizes the adolescent period takes place largely within the world of peers.

Frameworklessness and Autonomy

Many theorists have noted that one's identity develops within the context of interpersonal interactions (e.g., Cooley, 1902; Mead, 1934). Erikson (1968) argued that peers are particularly important in the construction of identity at adolescence. Seltzer (1982) expanded upon Erikson's ideas, providing an explanation for how and why the peer group plays such a central role.

To understand fully the function of peers, consider what happens when a child enters adolescence: The body changes in appearance, adult sexual needs emerge, hormonal shifts may heighten irritability, the capacity to reflect on the future and on the self expands, maturity demands from others increase, and so on. These profound changes produce a state of instability and anxiety, unique to adolescence, that Seltzer calls frameworklessness:

The adolescent is at sea. Previous boundaries and guideposts are no longer functional. In earlier developmental periods, expansion and growth exist within a context of familiar motion and exercise. The adolescent condition is different, however. The adolescent is possessed of new physical and intellectual capabilities that are both mystical and mystifying.... The allure of the adult world calls, and is strong, even as the safety of childhood is close and still beckons. Yet neither fits; the one is outgrown, the other not yet encompassable. (p. 59).

The adolescent's passage to adulthood is in some ways parallel to the infant's passage to childhood status. To exercise their developing skills and to explore the beckoning world, infants must give up the security of the caregiver's continual presence and care. Most attachment theorists believe that toddlers manage the stress of this separation by forming a mental representation of the caregiver that provides feelings of security and makes independent exploration possible.

For adolescents, the task of establishing adult independence requires separating from caregivers on a new plane, a process called the "second individuation" (Blos, 1975). Adolescents rework their views of their parents, de-idealize them, and loosen, somewhat, their emotional dependency (Steinberg & Belsky, 1991). Thus, the mental representation or concept of the parent becomes more peripheral to the adolescent's self system. Nevertheless, a teenager's increasing individuation and sense of autonomy does not come without a price. As adolescents experience a loss in feelings of security, their sense of frameworklessness increases.

The Peer Arena

Paradoxically, as adolescents seek autonomy from their parents, they become more dependent on their peers. Steinberg and Silverberg (1986) asked children, ages 10 to 16, questions about their relationships with parents and agemates. Children between fifth and eighth grades showed a marked increase in agreement on items assessing emotional autonomy, such as, "There are some things about me that my parents don't know" and, "There are things that I would do different from my mother and father when I become a parent."