Uncovering the hidden causes of bullying and school violence

Counseling and Human Development, Feb 2000 by Weinhold, Barry K

Dominator values are actively promoted by the sports and entertainment industries. For example, hardly anyone even questions the gratuitous violence in wrestling matches sponsored by the World Wrestling Federation or World Championship Wrestling. These matches have some of the highest ratings on cable television. Regular television channels are no better, with daytime shows exemplifying dominator values, such as The Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones programs, commanding huge ratings. Movies such as The Terminator glorify violence and pack the theaters. Violent video games such as Doom had considerable influence on Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the Columbine killers. Violence is a profitable business. Unless these values are changed or supplanted by kinder and more humane values, the culture of violence will continue to grow and flourish in the United States, further undermining all of our democratic institutions.

As a counter balance to the dominator value system is another value system that some call the "humanistic or democratic value system" (Eider, 1987). Those who espouse these values are people who:

Strive to resolve their conflicts with others in peaceful, nonviolent ways so everyone gets their needs met.

Use the "rule of law" and seek common ground to settle racial, cultural, religious, and political disputes.

Understand cultural relativity and are able to show tolerance and respect toward people of different cultures.

Seek equalitarian relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and caring.

Admit mistakes and strive to learn from them.

Take responsibility for their actions.

These are the values of democracy that we strive to teach our children, but dominator values are undermining the very foundation of our democracy. The dominator value system lurks behind all domestic violence, child abuse, elder abuse, workplace violence, school violence, road rage, hate crimes, and wars.

Over-Focus on Negative Behaviors

Much of people's behavior is motivated by a desire to meet the basic needs for recognition, attention and approval. Over the past 6 years, I visited more than 100 schools, and asked students and faculty members the following question: "Is it easier for you to get noticed or get attention in this school by doing something positive or something negative?" Almost 100 percent of them have replied "negative" (Weinhold, 1999a). This consistent feedback from children and faculty members indicates that children and adults adapt and learn to use negative behaviors to meet their need for recognition because their positive behaviors usually go unnoticed. This is not just a school problem. If someone were to ask the same question of kids in families or workers in companies or in organizations such as the military, they likely would get the same answer.

This focus on negativity is hidden below the tip of our social iceberg and supports the visible culture of violence that we see in the media. For example, have you ever noticed how characters on television sitcoms get the most audience laughter when they make a mistake? This culture of negativity in schools, families, the workplace, and the highway creates an overall climate that breeds violence.