Consulting With Parents of Elementary School Children

Counseling and Human Development, Nov 2003 by McFadden, Stephen W

Many power struggles between parents and children ensue around the focal point of money. These struggles over requests for money or to purchase something can be eliminated by providing children with an allowance and encouraging them to use it wisely.

Time

Time-we all would like more of it, even our children. Current research states that some children aren't receiving enough parental time and need more of our attention. When we fail to provide our children with enough time together, we run the risk of their feeling unimportant or not understood, or that we aren't interested in them.

Rearing children and being a responsible parent require time. The old adage "It's not how much time you spend together but, rather, how you spend the time" is now obsolete. Although a balance between quantity and quality is ideal, the former seems to be in large demand.

Given the fact that we cannot add hours to the day, we can conduct an audit of our needs and priorities and determine what is important. After allotting plenty of time to meet the priority of family, all other demands can be worked into the remaining time. This exercise may create some difficult choices and, on occasion, require personal sacrifice. Yet, through proper management and schedule adjustments, additional time can be creatively freed up to accommodate our children.

The benefits of more time together are many. In addition to sending the message, "You are worth it," spending more time together can result in an increase in cooperation and appreciation for each other. Also, the more time parents spend with their children, the greater is their supervision and, ultimately, their safety.

The amount of time we make available to children directly affects the quality ofthat time. The challenge is how to be effective and get the most out of our time with our children. Quality time doesn't always mean doing something or going somewhere. And it need not be expensive. It is essential, however, that time spent together be meaningful and that any activities take into account the child's needs and interests. Often, family time is spent planning activities and meals, teaching values and academic skills, solving problems, and having fun through games, hobbies, or projects.

Although it is a cliché, time is a gift. It is a sound investment in our children's future. With the summer months upon us and a chance to temporarily jump off that treadmill known as "the school year," we should try to give children even more of our time. Few would disagree that time goes by too fast and that children grow up so quickly. These moments cannot be replaced. Make the most of every opportunity to be together and enjoy one another. Have a wonderful summer!

Happy New Year!

Even though January is still several months away, September traditionally marks the start of another year-the school year. With a fresh beginning comes the inevitable list of resolutions. Teachers establish new goals and commit to a variety of professional development opportunities while parents vow to maintain family routines and create a slower pace. Despite the initial energy and enthusiasm, the value of resolutions can quickly depreciate, and the promise resolutions bring is apt to go unrealized without carefully planning. To best achieve resolutions, it is important to remember the golden rule of goal-selling: Goals should be reasonable, realistic, and few in number.