Consulting With Parents of Elementary School Children

Counseling and Human Development, Nov 2003 by McFadden, Stephen W

Tone of Voice

One of the earliest tasks parents must face is that of censoring their language and behavior. Every child expert and baby book emphasizes the importance of modeling and how your child will copy everything you say and do. Imitation has its pros and cons. For example, when a child recites a college-level word, family and friends are impressed and you beam proudly. Yet, on occasion, children may turn a few heads by blurting out an expletive that would make a sailor blush. Now where did they hear that? That first expletive is generally a wake-up call to parents to monitor their vocabulary, but equally important is the need to monitor one's tone when talking to a child. Attention must be given not only to what you say but how you say it. A positively worded remark can lose its value by stating it sarcastically or loudly. How believable is the comment, "Good to see you!" or "Great job!" when said with little or no affect? Both parents and teachers must learn to be more aware of the tone of their voice.

In conclusion, consultation is one of the primary roles elementary school counselors assume to identify and minimize learning roadblocks and increase student availability to learn. The role of consultant enables school counselors to service students indirectly by helping parents, teachers and administrators to model and teach effective coping skills and by supporting their efforts to establish positive learning environments. The goal of consultation, therefore, is to help others identify, define and think through problems, gain new perspectives, and become more skilled and confident in dealing with future problem situations.

* These thoughts on the topic of children and allowances were adapted from Dr. Rudolph Dreikurs' book, Children: The Challenge (New York: Hawthorne Books, 1964).

REFERENCES

Dinkmeyer, D. & McKay, D. (1990). The parent's handbook: Systematic training for effective parenting. Circle Pines, MN: American Guidance Service.

Dreikurs, R. (1964). Children: The challenge. New York: Hawthorn.

Lawrence-Lightfoot, S. (2003). The essential conversation: What parents and teachers can learn from each other. New York: Random House.

Stephen W. McFadden is an elementary school counselor with the Marblehead Public Schools in Marblehead, MA. He has previously worked as a social worker and as an outpatient mental health clinician in Massachusetts.

© Love Publishing Company, 2003