Consulting With Parents of Elementary School Children

Counseling and Human Development, Nov 2003 by McFadden, Stephen W

In the primary grades, parents can begin to define their role by being available to clarify directions and provide encouragement. Parents also can help their children by following the established schedule and by ensuring a good start. Perhaps your child should begin with an easier task or break larger assignments into smaller ones.

If your child is genuinely confused, you can offer help by demonstrating, as long as you avoid getting overly involved in their work. Homework time, even for working parents, should not substitute for parent/child time. If your child is demanding your full attention or keeping you busy, try to arrange for special parent/child time before or after homework. If you think you are being manipulated, consider the following strategy. Provide your child with two "homework help" tokens. Encourage your child to redeem them wisely for your assistance, usually when he or she is truly stuck.

If homework becomes a real power struggle, back out and notify the teacher that your child refused to cooperate. If the work is too difficult, the teacher will make the necessary accommodations. If your child is capable of doing the work and is avoiding it, the teacher can consider allowing the logical order of consequences to occur, such as making up any late homework on the child's time at recess or after school.

Upon completion of homework, parents can check for accuracy and. understanding and assist the child in organizing the homework for a safe and timely return to school.

Violence

No matter where we turn, we seem to be inundated with reports of violence and a rising number of incidents involving youth. Much has been written and discussed in the wake of the most recent school shootings. While many have attempted to assign blame and point fingers, others have focused on what can be learned and what concrete actions we, as a society, can take to prevent a repeat occurrence. At the elementary school level we can promote a sense of belonging by creating an environment of acceptance and tolerance, teach effective coping skills, provide appropriate outlets for anger, and call attention to the consequences of actions.

Although the problems that the student assailants experienced were more deep-rooted than simply being teased and feeling different, an inability to fit in and be accepted by their peers was a contributing factor. Acceptance, or the opposite of rejection, means to receive with approval. It also means to accommodate or reconcile oneself to, or to bear and endure. When we accept someone, we don't necessarily endorse, agree with, or like their interests and actions. Genuine acceptance means allowing others the right to be themselves.

Yet, acceptance is a two-way street. As society accepts and tolerates individual differences, its members still need to accept limits, be willing to conform to some basic rules, and respect the rights of others-namely, the right to feel safe and secure.

At an early age, children are naturally accepting and forgiving. Not until the upper elementary grades, when children are exposed to the harmful effects of prejudice, discrimination and stereotyping, do they begin to struggle with acceptance. Therefore, children need to be taught periodically the importance of accepting others for who they are and be encouraged to adopt a fair attitude toward those whose race, religion, opinions, and interests differ from their own.