A hearing heart

Lutheran, The, Feb 2003 by Farrington, Debra K

We ask God for one so that we might discern rightly

Solomon hadn't been king for very long when God appeared to him in a dream. "Ask what I should give you," God said (1 Kings 3:5). Various Bible versions translate what Solomon requested as wisdom or an understanding mind or heart. But the actual translation of the Hebrew says Solomon asked for a "hearing heart" so he could judge between good and evil. In other words, Solomon wanted a hearing heart so he could discern rightly.

For the ancient Hebrews, the heart was more than an organ that pumped blood. The heart was thought to be the center of everything physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. So when Solomon asked for a hearing heart, what he really wanted was for God to inform every aspect of his life so he could be a wise and faithful king.

The good news is that hearing hearts-discerning hearts-are not reserved for kings alone. We, too, can ask for and receive the gift of a hearing heart so we might discern well and judge rightly.

You've probably heard the word "discernment" used primarily in relationship to a pastor's call or vocation. Or perhaps you've heard people talk about discernment at a major transitional moment in their lives. But God invites all of us to discernment, not only for big decisions but for the whole of our lives.

The word "discern" comes from the Latin discernere, which means "to separate apart." From all the options, we separate apart those that seem to be God's unique call to us. So how you treat others, how you vote, how you use resources (time, talent and money) and how we care for ourselves-all require the practice of discernment. By learning to practice discernment in your everyday life, you'll be far better equipped to hear God's guidance at a major crossroad later on.

A hearing heart is ours for the asking, just as it was for Solomon. Here are some practices that will help us accept and use the gift wisely.

Pray. The hearing heart knows how to listen for God's voice prayerfully. Words are important and necessary in discernment, particularly when you're inviting God to speak about God's desires for you. But learning to listen-- practicing silence and stillness-in prayer is critical if you want to hear God's answer. "For God alone my soul waits in silence," the Psalmist wrote (62:1). For God alone we must wait in silence too.

Many people dislike silence. It makes them edgy. Not much seems to be happening. But with practice, maintaining stillness grows easier and richer. A friend of mine says prayer is making ourselves available to God, and silence, more than anything else, teaches us to do this. Like Elijah (1 Kings 19) we discover that God speaks not in the wind, earthquake and fire of our lives but in the voice that comes in the quiet.

A prayerful and discerning heart also needs to let go of its God-please-- do list, replacing it with the knowledge that God's will may be different from ours. That doesn't mean you have to stop praying for others-far from it. God desires all of our prayers for ourselves and for others. But the hearing heart recognizes that it doesn't always know what God's will is and opens itself to accepting that fact. It gives up directing God in favor of waiting for God's will to unfold.

Pay attention. Learn to pay attention to your gifts if you want to discover clues to God's desires for you. As young children many of us were taught not to boast or make ourselves the center of attention. Modesty is an important social skill, but sometimes we take it too far and forget to notice the unique gifts God gave us.

My spiritual director asked me to name my gifts a couple of years ago, and I was astonished to find I couldn't! If you can't name yours either, ask some trusted friends to tell you what your gifts are and learn to acknowledge them. God's desires for us usually match up with our gifts pretty closely.

Listen to your body. In Western culture, we've also learned to ignore our bodies and what they have to tell us. Good discerners need to get back in touch with the wisdom bodies teach. Learn to notice when you're reacting positively and negatively to situations, tasks or relationships and you'll have some more clues for judging rightly.

I find that my body knows if a decision is right or wrong long before I know that intellectually. Shallow breathing or tension in my neck or jaw are sure signs that something is wrong. An overall feeling of well-being, deep breaths and shoulders that aren't up around my ears are usually signs that I've judged rightly.

Tell your story. Remember to tell the story of your life once in a while-- even if you tell it only to yourself.

Our story changes as we age. How we tell our life story at 16 isn't how we tell it at 40 or 60, and hindsight is an enormous help in discernment. Seeing God's guiding hand in retrospect is far easier than seeing it in the future. Look backward at your life periodically and see where God has guided you so far, and you may be able to see better where God wants you to go next.