Make plans now

Lutheran, The, Nov 2003 by Shelstad, David L

Decisions for living and dying ease the burden for others

death will come, we all know it. At whatever age it comes, advance decision-making, anticipation of end-of-life issues and preplanning may ease a difficult time.

Perhaps you, too, have heard horror stories about tax consequences because there's no will, or of an added burden when no guardian was selected for surviving children. It may be reason enough that we, as stewards of God's gifts, should focus on decisions for living and dying.

Although many still consider matters related to death taboo, or at least uncomfortable, two fundamental actions are key:

* A will is arguably the most valuable document regardless of age or circumstances. A will directs decisions, designates guardians for children and distributes property and assets. Whether handwritten, of the fill-in-the-blank variety or drafted by an attorney, make sure a will meets state requirements.

* Advance directives, composed of two parts:

1. Declaration. Sometimes called a "living will," this is a written document that directs the type of medical care you want and don't want (i.e., transfusions, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, dialysis, drug therapy, surgery, use of respirator and medications).

2. Durable Power of Attorney. The appointed agent may be a spouse, child, sibling, friend or attorney. This is revocable at any time. Choose someone with whom you've had frank and honest discussions of life/death issues and whom you trust to carry out those wishes.

a. Power of attorney for finances executes financial matters, such as banking, investments, payment of taxes and transfer of property.

b. Power of attorney for health care designates one's health-care proxy during a temporary or permanent incapacity (feeding tubes, hydration, resuscitation orders, pain control, organ donation and placement for care).

These may or may not be the same person.

Of course, the "devil is always in the details"; therefore some words of caution:

* Wills and power of attorney documents are widely available in officesupply stores and samples can be found on countless Internet sites. But they may not be right for everyone.

State laws and regulations may require specific forms and verification, such as a notary or qualified witnesses. An attorney may be your best choice. Costs will vary according to the complexity of circumstances.

* Stating your wishes doesn't, in all cases, mandate specific medical care. But it goes a long way toward achieving your desires.

Although you can't cover every circumstance, with proper documentation, those whom you designate in your powers of attorney can be powerful advocates for your wishes. Minimally, you should have three copies of your power of attorney for health care: one for your agent, one for your doctor and another in an accessible place should an emergency arise.

* Once wills and powers of attorney are done, they should be reviewed periodically, especially when major life circumstances change-death of an appointed agent, divorce, realigned assets, trusts, revision of inheritance and tax laws, children reaching maturity, relocation to another state. Modified estate planning (life insurance, annuities, trusts) may necessitate such attention.

* Most importantly, talk with those most intimately affected by your : life/death decisions. Documents are essential, but discussing issues in advance of crisis or loss may go a long way in avoiding disagreements and reducing conflict among loved ones.

If one in a family of four adult children is designated as the mother's power of attorney for health care, hold a family meeting so Mom can make her wishes known, publicly name her appointed agent and give appropriate documents to each of her children. Although all may not agree in the ensuing discussion, relationships are honored by informing those affected by the decisions.

Shelstad is director of chaplaincy at Luther Manor, Milwaukee. He was a funeral director for 25 years.