Everyday blessings

Lutheran, The, Jan 2004 by Solomonson, Sonia C

Rites and rituals connect us with God's love active in our lives

The 7-foot Christmas tree filled the home with a lovely evergreen scent and its lights and ornaments sparkled. Conversation and stories flowed, sprinkled with laughter. An abundance of appetizers and goodies covered the table. Candles scattered throughout the home created a soft glow that made us forget the cold December evening outdoors.

This was Advent-a time of waiting, of preparing for birth. This was also a special night for the expectant mother. Her baby was soon due, so she and her spouse were apprehensive about all that lay before them: the birth and, even more, raising a child well. So on this night friends and familyall of them women-gathered for a blessing of womb and room.

With hands on the mother's body that enveloped the baby, we gave thanks for the little one being knit together in the mother's womb. We thanked God for the gift of water that nourishes and sustains all living things, including the new life about to burst forth. We prayed for strength and courage for the parents and a release from their fears and anxieties.

We lit the Christ candle to begin the blessing service and carried it to the baby's nursery and the other rooms of the house, accompanied by a prayer that God would grant the new little one protection waking or sleeping and a life surrounded with love and peace.

After that, each woman lit a candle from the Christ candle, placed it in a bowl of sand and said a personal word of blessing, prayer or longing for the family. Said one friend: "May you enjoy a new way of experiencing the world through the eyes of your child." We closed by singing "Mothering God, You Gave Me Birth" from With One Voice (769).

The mother told me later that she felt peaceful and supported by this gathering of women. And those who gathered said they were deeply moved by the blessing and took more seriously their role to support this family-something for which my friend Barb and I had hoped when we planned the evening.

Once before I blessed a baby in utero, when my son and daughterin-law experienced a difficult pregnancy. We thanked God for little Olivia, asked for God's care for mother and child through the delivery, and prayed for blessings as this family expanded to include this new life.

Home blessings

A home blessing for a mother and her two children following a difficult divorce brought a similar feeling of peace for that family. This home was such a significant phase in their healing.

It was a haven for them, a symbol of new life after extremely painful years. We, their friends, needed to gather and give thanks to God for all that home meant and would mean to the family. We asked God to bless the dwelling and their life together in it. We prayed that God would encircle their new home with protection and that God's holy angels would encompass the walls and peace might dwell within.

Moments such as this cry out for ritual-which is nothing more than stopping to notice God at work in our everyday lives. I often use ritual because it gives me space and time to notice life transitions and changes and to acknowledge God's grace and gifts in helping me make those shifts.

In Blessings & Rituals for the Journey of Life (Abingdon Press, 2000), author Susan Langhauser wrote: "I have always instinctively known that a symbolic action helps me move from one stage of life to the next more gracefully." Yes, that's it exactly. I agree when she says: "I have seen this process unburden souls, heal hurts, and energize for new adventures."

We have rites and rituals that are part of our worship life (see page 12). "Once the life of faith is begun through the waters of baptism, no subsequent passage is made alone" (Life Passages, see resources below). How true. And the rituals we do for the everyday events of our lives call us back to that foundational act of God claiming us as beloved children.

When we age

We can create rituals for small life events or significant ones. When I turned 60,1 wanted a way to acknowledge God's gifts in wisdom gained rather than just in years added. I gathered information on rituals that noted the various stages of women's lives and created what is called a "croning."

Women's lives are said to be marked by three stages: maiden, mother and crone, the latter being the wisdom years. A croning, then, marks more than just years of life: It is a celebration of God's gifts through all the experiences of life-the good and the bad. It's a recognition that each of life's stages have shaped us, brought us wisdom and compassion.

My invitation to the 21 women who gathered that sunny, warm December day said in part, "To age is a treasured gift.... To celebrate the gift of turning 60,1 am gathering special women in my life.... I want to spend some time with you celebrating the wisdom we are gathering as we age."

I asked for no gifts but for something written to put in a memory book: a poem, a memory, a story, advice or something about the relationship we shared. This wonderful book now reminds me of these people and their place in my life as mentors, friends and spiritual companions. And the candles, prayers, blessings and sharing of that day brought joy and energy to those who attended. In fact, many of the women later told me how affirmed they felt for their gifts and how aware they were of God's love active in their lives as we lit candles, prayed, shared, laughed and celebrated that day.