TREASURES WITHOUT TURMOIL

Lutheran, The, Mar 2004 by Sevig, Julie B

"When our children or grandchildren come to visit, I tell them to look around and see if there is something they would like to have," says Rubush, a member of Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd in Seminole, FIa. "If we aren't using it, I give it to them."

lone Murdock, a member of St. Mark Lutheran Church, Marion, Iowa, is also keenly aware that her sons don't know the value or history of items in her house. She conducted her own Antiques Roadshow with an appraiser who provided a value and general history. Murdock added personal stories and genealogy. "Monetary riches weren't primary," she says. "Family history was a different and valuable kind of wealth to pass on.

"I wrote my sons: 'Enclosed is an inventory of items in our home. Too many families don't talk about inheritance while the parents are alive. I'm doing it now because we're downsizing and because I want us to share family stories. I'd like you to indicate pieces you'd like, either now or later. ... History is included without values because I want to know your desires, whether it's [worth] $1 or $3,000.' "

Her sons are now interested in genealogy, and although one son admitted he had no interest in great-grandmother's glassware, he now says, "Anything that has been handled so carefully for more than 100 years should not be trashed."

Even before she was diagnosed with cancer, Bea Favre's mother began wrapping special items and giving them as gifts on birthdays and other special occasions. "It was a meaningful way for the process to begin," says Favre, Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd, Sacramento, Calif., whose mother died in 1982.

Another frequent rule is: "If you gave it to us, it's yours." Or, this rule established by a family of five brothers who had all been in 4-H and shop classes: "If you made it, you take it."

Finally, Dennis King, Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran Church, Apple Valley, Minn., wrote with a sense of urgency: "Hey, if anyone submits any ideas on how to 'keep the peace' I could sure use them. My siblings are going through this now. I don't understand how property becomes more important than people."

Hey Dennis, this one's for you.

An additional reflection is at www.thelutheran.org/0403/treasures.html. Coming soon: Distributing monetary wealth.

Sevig is a section editor of The Lutheran.