Dealing with Difficult People

Beyond Numbers, May 2005 by Payeur, Nancy

The sad reality is this: No matter where you go, there will be difficult people. It's a fact of life we can't control. What we can control is how we respond to difficult people. We can choose to respond in a way that encourages, reinforces, or allows bad behaviour to flourish, or we can respond in a way that says: "I won't take part in this dance."

Often the hardest part of dealing with difficult people is moving away from a victim mentality and seeing that we have choices. True, there are few perfect choices to be made, but most are preferable to tolerating the intolerable.

Difficult clients

"He's the most challenging client I've ever worked with. He fired his last three accountants, his last payment was three months late, and he calls and leaves sarcastic messages on my voicemail. He's rude to our support staff... expects me to be immediately available at all times... it goes on and on. Demanding people seem to keep appearing in my life, and it sure makes my days miserable. But what can you do when you need the billable hours?"

When life is so short, why is it that some of us are seduced into working with difficult, unreasonable, and obnoxious people? For a multitude of reasons, including irrational fantasies of being able to turn a situation around, immediate pressures to generate billable hours, and lack of confidence in being able to generate new business if difficult clients are turned away. Or it may be that an accountant simply hasn't stopped to make a conscious decision about whether or not to accept the client in the first place.

Most CAs have latitude in determining whom they will serve and how they will work with people. It all starts with the initial retainer-which is key to providing any type of professional service.

You need to communicate with potential clients about the service you can realistically provide and set parameters around how you will work together. This includes a discussion of fee structures and billing requirements. Most of the time, clients are reasonable people and you don't need to state the obvious. When you know you're dealing with a difficult person, however, you need to make the implicit explicit and not take anything-like sensible behaviour-for granted. When you are aware of someone's negative patterns, remember the maxim: The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. Keep expectations grounded in reality.

Develop a "Plan B" for the 20% minority who have the potential to be unreasonable. This framework should be in place and kick in as needed, and includes signed fee agreements; prompt billing and follow-up on overdues; work suspended until fees have been paid; and regular consultation with a colleague skilled at setting limits.

If you're worried about your ability to bring in new clients, address that issue directly. There are many resources available to assist you with business developments skills. Consider, for instance, the ICABC's Professional Advisory Services and Practice Review & Licensing departments, which both offer staff to provide one-on-one advice; the Institute's professional development courses in marketing and business development (see below), Toastmasters groups (such as the three recently started by BC CAs), service clubs, professional organizations, and more experienced colleagues who have grown their practices successfully.

Keep in mind that serving difficult clients has associated costs. They can end up being a drain on you and your co-workers, in time and emotional energy, as well as psychic angst and general wear and tear! Assess up front which types of difficult people are within your "workable" range and which need to be "fired" and referred elsewhere.

A warning: Some clients will be so shocked at your denying their request for service, that they may readily agree to follow your terms and conditions. Setting clear parameters at the outset can make all the difference; when it doesn't, you need to follow through with your original decision.

Difficult colleagues

"My partner used to be a friend, but after two years of working together, I can no longer say that. Choosing to set up shop together was a really bad call on my part. He's very controlling, questions my decisions regularly, and is always giving unsolicited-and what I see as unnecessary-advice. Plus he's so unpredictable-his moods are up and down. One day he's Mr. Nice Guy, the next he's tearing a strip off a CA student. It's miserable to be at the office these days. I try to keep a low profile. "

Dealing with a difficult colleague, especially a partner, can be tough, and probably involves both short and long-term solutions. In the short term, you need to have the "fireside chat" with your partner, giving feedback on the disruptive behaviours and asking him or her to stop.

Over the long term, some soul-searching and a thorough assessment of the situation is in order. Is the situation salvageable? If not, should you force yourself to live forever with one bad decision? This has financial and professional implications and requires an investment of money, time, energy, and planning-i.e. searching for another position, dissolving a partnership, looking for an alternate partnership, setting up solo, or whatever you decide is the next logical step. Take your time, and make sure you apply what you've learned from the experience to your planning process.