Welcoming children with special needs

UU World: The Magazine of the Unitarian Universalist Association, Jan/Feb 2005 by Skinner, Donald E

WHEN A.J. MARTIN KOLLS INTO HIS religious education classroom at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, he is greeted by classmates who understand and appreciate his special qualities. Martin, 8, has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. He always has a big smile for everyone, and when the group sings, Martin claps enthusiastically and moves his body to the music.

The n$o-member church has made sure Martin feels at home. It has a volunteer "special friend" on hand each Sunday to help him in the classroom. On the playground, a pull-up bar was installed so he could get out of his wheelchair into a toy train. And instead of a sandbox there's a sand table. Recent church renovations included installation of an elevator and other accessibility improvements.

"The church has been very accepting and accommodating of AJ.," said Karen Martin, who, with her partner DeAnn Peterson, adopted AJ. four years ago and began bringing him to church along with their other son, Tucker, 4. "They both absolutely love church."

Children and youth who come to our churches with special needs can create challenges for religious educators and congregations. There s a broad range of special needs that children can have.There are children with cerebral palsy, spina bifida, dyslexia, and autism. Others come with mood and anxiety disorders, motor disabilities, blindness, deafness, mental retardation, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. There are kids with Down syndrome, Asperger syndrome, and disruptive behavior disorders.

Part of the challenge of welcoming these children lias been a lack of information about how to respond to them. But now Sally Pattoa, of Winchester, Massachusetts, an advocate for special needs kids, lias written a book that helps religious educators respond in meaningful ways. The book, Welcoming Children with Special Needs: A Guidebook for Faith Communities (published by the UUA and available in the UUA bookstore), grew out of her experience with her own son,Tyler, who is dyslexic, and lier long involvement with the Winchester Unitarian Society.

Tyler had always participated in church programs, Pattern said, but occasionally there were "moments of misunderstanding." If a teacher asked children to read, for example, Tyler might choose to leave the classroom because reading was difficult for him. And now, as a high school student, he finds discussion-oriented youth groups not to his liking, she said, and so he gets involved in other ways, by playing his guitar at the church coffeehouse and helping with younger classes.

Patton's book demonstrates how to build congregational support for ministering to kids with special needs and how to support them and their families. It also describes each special need in detail and how to reach a child with that need.

WHEN PAT KAHN BECAME DIRECTOR OF religious education at the UU Gon gregation of Atlanta five years ago, there were two children with special needs. Now there are thirty. Part of that increase stems from improvements in physical accessibility at UUCA. Plus, two years ago the Religious Education department presented a unit on welcoming people with special needs.

When a boy was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, a condition that caused him to be anxious and disruptive in class, initially a lot of effort was expended to control his behavior. Then Kahn found him a volunteer "special friend" and led a conversation in the boys class about his condition. "The classroom atmosphere changed dramatically," she said. "Once we talked about it, everybody knew better how to relate to him."

Kahn said a transformation is taking place among the congregation's children and their parents as the topic of special needs is discussed more openly. "The children are more focused now on what kids like AJ. can do rather than what they can't," she said. "They have become more open to seeing the child first and then the condition they might have. Just the other day a parent told me her daughter saw a person in a wheelchair in the grocery and that she spoke about that person in a very matter-of-fact way. I believe that when our children go to school and see people who are different they will be much more open and accepting than they might have been."

THE FIRST PARISH OF SUDBURY, MASSAchusetts, is making room for Jason Robison and his family. Robison, 20, has Down syndrome, autism, andTourette syndrome. His first contact with First Parish came last spring when he began coming every Monday to collect the congregation's recyclables-part of his job. The Rev. Katie Lee Crane got to know him and invited him to the congregation's annual intergenerational service. He loved the singing and dancing, and he and his mother began coming to Sunday services.

That's when the 27O-member congregation learned that the family had, more than once, felt unwanted in other congregations and, once, had been asked to leave a congregation because Robison shouted out at inappropriate times.

This past fall the congregation began developing a caring circle focused on Robison. A circle member will partner with him each Sunday. He participates in the first part of the worship service. Then, during the middle, more meditative part, he goes downstairs with his "buddy" and helps set up snacks for the children.Then he's back upstairs for the closing hymn.