A Cluttered Desk Is The Sign Of A Healthy Editor

National Dragster, Aug 6, 2004 by Burgess, Phil

I have what many drag racing fans would consider a dream job. As editor of National DRAGSTER, not only am I privy to the latest insider news well before it becomes public, but I'm on a first-name basis with most of the sport's stars. I can pick up the telephone and be talking to Tony Schumacher or John Force or Greg Anderson within a few seconds or walk right into their pit areas and ask the kind of questions you would love to. Life is swell.

One can tell that I must be a pretty important guy around here just by looking at my desk. In fact, after "Can I have your autograph?" the question I'm most often asked is "What does the desk of a powerful editor look like anyway?" Okay, so I'm not asked either of those questions, but after a) my name came up on the staff rotation for this column and b) I looked at my desk, I decided to write a story about my sturdy friend and the work we share.

For starters, if a clean desk is the sign of a sick mind, then I'm very mentally stable. I've got free-standing stacks of stuff and metal file racks overflowing with paper, some of which hasn't seen the light for years. In addition to page proofs of the current issue, here's what we've got (from left to right, top to bottom):

* reference books: dictionary, thesaurus, NHRA Media Guides (1999-2004), NHRA Fan Guides (2001-2004), Useful Quotations book (actually not very useful), 40th U.S. Nationals souvenir program (research for the 50th anniversary race), 1999 Winternationals souvenir (no idea why I have this)

* six-inch stack of photocopied articles from Hot Rod Magazine, 1951-1960 (more 50th Nationals reference material)

* mockup for 50th U.S. Nationals souvenir program cover (good job, Vince!)

* photo of John Force sitting on the toilet reading National DRAGSTER (don't ask; it was his idea!)

* invitation to former Comp racer Frank Mazi's 60th birthday party May 29 (couldn't attend; if you don't know why I was invited, you haven't been reading National DRAGSTER long enough)

* staff expense reports and performance reviews, in various stages of approval (or not - when is Boss' Week again?)

* Don Garlits' Tales From The Dragstrip book (unread)

* various videotapes (including Wally Parks' 85th and 90th birthday parties)

* list of proposed contents for the January/February 2004 issue of Jr. DRAGSTER (approved)

* various reporter's notebooks with notes I can no longer decipher

* negatives of an earthmover moving earth somewhere

* thank-you card from "Hot Rod" Fuller for putting him on the cover of the June 18 issue

* special Firebird Raceway-edition Hot Wheels car (signed by the whole New family!)

* other small-scale cars (Warren & Coburn's Rain For Rent dragster, my all-time favorite race car; Bill Shrewsberry's L.A. Dart wheelstander; limited-edition John Force 6-time champion Funny Car (1 of 20,000); Jerry Toliver's WWF Funny Car (complete with miniature "Stone Cold" Steve Austin figure!)

* kindergarten-era clay dinosaur (I think) from my now-15-year-old son Chris (a fine paperweight)

* various personal photos: a 3-D-like image of me, former ND writer Chris Martin, and late ND Photo Editor Leslie Lovett at the 1984 preseason event at Firebird Int'l Raceway; me with late Editor-in-Chief John Raffa (in tuxedos, minutes before my wedding); me, Leslie, former ND ad guy Chris Hawley, and longtime class-winner photographer Eric Brooks in the Indianapolis Raceway Park class winner's circle at the 1983 SPORTSnationals (my first road trip!); souvenir photo of me and John Force riding the Manhattan Express roller coaster in Las Vegas; hockey team championship photo (our jerseys had NHRA logos), etc., etc.

* numerous issues of Editors Only newsletter (most unread)

* more red editing pens than a man has the right to own

* more reference books (Lucas Oil Drag Racing Series and NHRA Summit Sport Compact Drag Racing Series media guides, National Speedway Directory, 2002 and 2003 season summary stats, Top Fuel Handbook)

* National DRAGSTER Stylebook (2004 edition). To wit, under "numbers" - "qualifying: Use No. 1, No. 16, and the like. This format is used only for qualifying positions. Spell out and lowercase when denoting a position other than qualifying; e.g., 'He finished number two in points.' " Good to know.

* commemorative Miller Genuine Draft can (unopened), signed by Don Prudhomme, Larry Dixon, and Rusty Wallace, and limited-edition (1 of 500) pewter dragster from Dixon's introduction press conference, Pomona 1995

* commemorative bottle of wine celebrating NHRA's 50th anniversary (2001; unopened - honest!)

* commemorative bottle of new NHRA-flavor POWERade (guess I'll never go thirsty on the job)

* John Force Fan Club mug (not officially a member; not sure how I got this)

* my Wally trophy, for winning the NHRA Staff Drags in 2000

* more notebooks with indecipherable gibberish (I should teach cryptography for the CIA)

* spring 1993 issue of Finnish publication Street & Race, featuring my photo sequence of Kenny Bernstein's top-end crash at the 1993 Winter-nationals (caption: "Kenny Bernstein ajoi hiuksia nostattaneen kolarin finaalissa, kun knone hajosi räjähdysmäisesti ja lentävät osat rikkoviat sliksin.")