Bob Tales with Bob Frey

National Dragster, Jan 21, 2005 by Frey, Bob

www.whisperdownthelane.com

I know this may be hard . to believe, but during the off-season I have a lot of free time. Believe it or not, after I've done everything that the lovely and talented Diana wants me to do, I have about eight weeks of free time between the last race of the season and the Winternationals. If you do the math, that will indicate how much Diana really needs me around the house. Anyway, with all of that extra time, I have to admit that I actually checked out a bunch of websites this winter, and I also have to admit that I was amazed at what I found. The most interesting part of these sites is the message-board section, where visitors can post a message on any subject in the world and then the rest of the visitors (I guess that's the right term) can respond.

What really amazes me about these message boards is how far removed the last response is from the first. It reminded me of that game we used to play as kids, Whisper Down The Lane. That's the one where you whisper something to the first person, who in turn whispers it to the second person, and so on. The last person then says what he or she heard, and it's never even remotely close to the initial statement. Well, in this wonderful world of high tech, Whisper Down The Lane has returned. case in point, one unnamed website has a board where drag racers can get together and chat. One particular chat that I read over the winter went something like this:

BIGDRAGRACINGFAN (No one on these sites uses his or her real name; they all have really cool names instead. Okay, so they're not really cool ...) Hey, I just heard that Don Schumacher is going to start his own sanctioning body this year.

BIGGER DRAG FAN

Yeah, I heard it, too. And Don is also going to bring back the Top Gas class.

TOPFUELRULZ

Hey BIG, where do you get your information? I also heard that Don has gas and he's got to go to the hospital to get it checked out.

FUEL ALTEREDS FOREVER

And Don's going to buy that hospital and make it the official hospital of NHRA. Just IMHO.

BRING BACK THE OLD DAYZ

You guys are clueless. NHRA is trying to get rid of hospitals. They never liked them. This is just the handwriting on the wall.

BIGDRAGRACINGFAN

You are missing my point. It's all about the sanctioning body.

PARIS-HILTON-FAN

Have you seen the body on Paris Hilton?

TOPFUELRULZ

Where'd that bozo come from? Go back to your other message board.

BIG SHOE

Speaking of bored, have you guys listened to Bob Frey on the P.A.?

I LOVE CAPPS

Hey, don't pick on Bob, he can only afford to drive a '74 Nash.

BALD IS SEXY

It wasn't a Nash, it was a Road Runner. Don't you know anything?

PRO STOCK FAN

Don's going to allow Road Runners in Pro Stock? Cool!

BIGDRAGRACINGFAN

You're missing my point. That body will never be allowed. Besides, NHRA never liked Road Runners either.

LOOK TO THE FUTURE

Why don't they allow hybrid cars in Pro Stock. NHRA never looks ahead. By the way, Bob's got a better body than Paris Hilton. So there ...

I KNOW EVERYTHING

This is the second time that I've heard that Bob and Paris Hilton are an item. I read it here, so it must be true.

#1 GEEK

Hybrids rule!!

BIGDRAGRACINGFAN

Don't hybrids run on corn? NHRA owns a lot of corn, so that may happen.

BIG SHOE

Speaking of corn, have you heard Bob Frey on the P.A.?

I KNOW IT ALL

Did you say PA? In case you haven't heard, NHRA's moving its headquarters to PA. I'll love that, I live in Pennsylvania.

KOOL DUDE

Pennsylvania is where the Declaration of Independence was signed.

HISTORY BUFF

And it's also where the first shoe was made.

#1 GEEK

Shoe's rule!!

B LEAVE ME

Half the people in the world don't have shoes.

THE LAST WORD

I felt bad because I didn't have any shoes and then I saw a man without any feet.

SAY WHAT?

I felt bad because I didn't have a hat, and then ...

I rest my case.

That's it for now, I'll see you at the races. I'll be the one with Paris Hilton. Yeah, right.

Oh, by the way, no part of this article may be reproduced without the express, written permission of Don Schumacher, Don Wann, Stevie Wong, Steve Schmidt, Mike Schmitt, Mike O'Donnell, Ron O'Donnell, Ron Hope, Ralph Hope, Ralph Barrett, and the #1 Geek - especially the #1 Geek.

Bob Frey, who has been writing his Bob Tales column since 1994, has been a drag racing announcer since 1966 and an NHRA national event announcer since 1985. He contributes Sportsman spotlights for ESPN2's NHRA2day television show and is co-host of the NHRA Lucas Oil Sportsman highlights show, also broadcast on ESPN2. Readers may write to Bob Frey at 605 Harvest Lane, Waterford, NJ 08089.