Joan of Arc Meets Mary Poppins: Maternal Re-nurturing Approaches with Male Patients in Ego-State Therapy

American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis,  Jul 2004  by Phillips, Maggie

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Following this intervention, Michael began to involve Carla more in helping him get aroused. He discovered that when both of them were equally involved in stimulating him, he could sustain his concentration and have normal, satisfying orgasms. Although his new-found abilities were tested when he and Carla mutually decided to end their relationship, he was able to work through similar barriers with Susan, his current relationship, much more easily and in a shorter period of time. He continues in therapy to examine and resolve the barriers related to his early sexual abuse by his grandmother and to expand his capacity for physical and emotional intimacy.

Discussion

These two cases suggest several clinical implications for the re-nurturing of male patients in ego-state therapy. First, it is noteworthy that both Alex and Michael had significant early attachment disturbance in relation to primary maternal figures. Alex's bonding with his mother was impaired by her chronic, depressed withdrawal from him and complicated further by his older sister's rejection of him and his father's rage at his unmet dependency needs. For Michael, his grandmother was his primary caretaker during his preschool years while his mother worked full-time. Although we are uncertain as to the exact nature of his sexual and emotional abuse by her, we have partial corroboration from his older sister, who holds clear memories of her abuse and of his presence in the situation. Persistent imagery suggests that he may have been tied up by grandmother as punishment for failure to respond sexually to her. He has recalled thoughts like, "I will never let her have control over my penis." This decision set the stage for sexual collapse during adult life when his wife betrayed him at a time when he faced financial and professional ruin.

In both situations, standard re-nurturing protocols were attempted, using more mature male ego states to strengthen and reparent the young states who were badly traumatized. In both cases, these attempts met with mixed success. Only the addition of imaginary female nurturing figures that were wholly accepted by the personality led to significant behavioral change and to successful ongoing experiences in self-reparenting.

These results may be explained by Hornyak's conceptualization of gender differences. If it is true that men need to separate from relationship in order to individuate and to experience their full potency, as she and others have suggested, then we may better understand the pivotal role played by Mary Poppins and Joan of Arc. As imaginary figures, they may have provided distance from the early betraying and damaging female attachment figures, as well as from current intimacy with women, which was so overwhelming and destabilizing for both of them. These figures appear to have provided transitional corrective experiences that were wholly acceptable and strengthening to the personality system. These powerful transitional experiences seemed also to foster greater intimacy with positive nurturing females in the present, including the therapist, and to permit the maturation of self-nurturing capacities within the personality systems of both men.