Loving in the Here and Now

American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis,  Jul 2004  by Zarren, Jordan I

• E-mail
• Print
• Link

Loving in the Here and Now. Jane Parsons-Fein, CSW, BCD, DAHB. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin (2004). 207 pages. Reviewed by: Jordan I. Zarren, MSW, DAHB, West Palm Beach, FL.

Jane Parsons-Fein has written an extraordinary book to help individuals and couples recreate their relationships and bring love back into their lives. It is written for couples who are considering a break-up or divorce because they have grown apart and have lost the special feelings of love that brought them together.

The book introduces the reader to the special power of the tool of hypnosis and how to apply it, step by step, individually or as a couple, to bring back the magic of loving and caring. The author explains the process of imprinting negative behaviors and feelings by repetition, which then produce a trance state that becomes the new negative way of coping. The book explains family behavior that is trance-like, and how to get rid of the ghosts of the past that can contribute to misreading what partners are really saying.

Additional chapters deal with negative self-beliefs, anger, and how money and sexual difficulties exacerbate existing problems. It offers ways of creating a more loving, secure future and how to achieve and reach those goals. At the end of each chapter there are suggested practice exercises to help the reader learn and become skilled in the change process. Throughout, the author makes reference to negative trance experiences and how to develop positive trance states to grow and change. The last chapter guides the reader beautifully through the stages of first falling in love and culminates in how to really be in love.

Ms. Parsons-Fein does not attempt to teach the reader as one might do with a workshop or through instruction. She has used integrated case examples illustrating how her approach has changed the real lives of couples throughout the book. The cases are so smoothly integrated into the learning process that the reader can be caught up in identifying with the personal examples described as if they were the readers' own experiences. They are so real and vividly described that it is almost as if Ms. Fein, the clinician, was reading the mind of the reader.

The flow of words is poetic. The reader easily enters a therapeutic trance with eyes open and full concentration on the words printed on each page. This facilitates a powerful way of learning through enjoyment and satisfaction. I have rarely encountered the feeling of not wanting to put down a non-fiction book, but I did so while reading this book. The reader is instructed to read and practice the exercises one chapter at a time and not to skip around. This adds to the progressive appreciation of learning how to change and grow one step at a time and allows the reader to absorb the meaning and substance of each chapter.

As was stated, this book was written for the general public. However, those of us who work with dysfunctional communication and relationships can benefit from studying the author's unique and loving style of doing therapy. The book sits on my desk as a frequent reference and is one that I suggest my clients purchase to enhance my own way of helping them.

Some of the learning exercises that are offered at the end of each chapter may not be appropriate for the significantly depressed or helpless reader because they require such active responses as the purchase of specific objects as tools to help couples struggle through the change process. Even with this minor flaw, I enthusiastically recommend this book to all clinicians, male and female, as a must have, regardless of their own philosophy and method of treatment.

Reviewed by: Jordan I. Zarren, MSW, DAHB, West Palm Beach, FL.

Copyright American Society of Clinical Hypnosis Jul 2004
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved