Living life to the full

Living WELL, Jun 2006 by Watkin, Scott

Key points

* Scott Watkin lives in a supported people unit on the Isle of Wight run by Milford Del Support Agency. Here he describes his journey towards achieving a busy, varied and independent lifestyle.

It was a dream come true when I moved into a flat with my fiancée Stephany on 28 November 2005. We had got engaged on Valentine's Day, and this was our first step towards a new life together.

Life has not always been so rosy for me. I grew up in Peckham in the 1980s, and my early memories are of how busy and hectic it was. My family came from the Isle of Wight, but my mother and father had decided to make a new life in London. They were involved in discos and the music scene, and I share their enjoyment of music. I have a twin brother and an older brother, and we were very close at that time. We all looked out for each other. It was the only way to stay safe in a rough area, but even so our social life was very limited. I was mugged once in my early teens, a little way from home when I was out on my own.

I enjoyed school at first, because most of my teachers were kind and supportive, if strict. Because it was a school for people with disabilities some of the pupils died while I was there. One day you could see a school friend and the next day they'd be gone, which was a shock.

The bullying started when I was 13. I was bullied because of my sticking-out teeth and for the way I acted. It got so bad that I wouldn't get the bus to school, and Mum and Dad threatened to take the school to court. There was one particular ringleader. He was 10 times brighter than the rest of us, but he had behavioural problems. Looking back, I don't think people with behavioural difficulties should have been mixed with more vulnerable children. He would spit at me, and once he pushed me down a flight of stairs. I wasn't badly hurt, but I was so furious that I got up and knocked him out. It took three teachers to get me off him. I felt that all the teachers were against me, and that they didn't see the emotional side of what was happening. None of my school friends wanted to get involved either. The only one who stood up for me was my best friend Tom, and I still keep in touch with him and visit him in London. You know who your real friends are when things get difficult.

Because I was so unhappy I didn't get very good GCSE results, and I left school before I was 16 to start a course called 'Options' at Southwark College. I had a lot of fun there, doing what students do. However, around this time my family was breaking up. My older brother stayed in London with Dad, whilst my twin and I moved back to the Isle of Wight with Mum. We had been back for visits and for my Nan's funeral, so it wasn't alien territory. Mum and Dad hadn't wanted us to be too much involved at the time of Nan's death, because we get upset very easily, but we did go to the funeral. I think they made the right decision, because I have been able to cope better since then when people close to me have died.

We came to live on the island in January 1997. I remember how cold it was because we stayed at my other Nan's house and we had to use the outside toilet! Mum said to treat it as an adventure holiday, and that made it seem like fun. After a couple of days we moved into bed and breakfast accommodation. It took two years for the Housing Association to find us somewhere else, but I didn't mind because we had a nice landlord who had also come from London. We could chat to him about places we all knew.

During this time I started a two-year 'Skills for Work' course at the Isle of Wight College. I thoroughly enjoyed it and made lots of friends. I got NVQs in IT and catering and had some idea of working in catering, but then I discovered gardening, which I loved. I started a full-time horticulture course at the college. Mum arranged a work experience placement for me at Haylands Farm, a smallholding and nursery worked by people with disabilities. As well as learning about horticulture myself I helped support the other students in the gardening section, and made even more friends.

After a brief stay in a flat where Mum was concerned about drug taking and police raids on the neighbours we moved again, to a nice house in Ryde. However, a little while later, my brother had a big argument with Mum. He moved out and got a flat under the Supporting People scheme. He seemed to be very happy. I guess we had both reached the age when we needed to fly the nest, because within a couple of years I was arguing more and more with Mum. I was visiting London every couple of months to stay for a week or weekend. Dad would come down to Portsmouth to meet me and we would travel back up together. It helped me stay in touch with Tom, and it meant that I got on well with Dad, but I don't think Mum was very happy about it.

After one of these visits, when I was late back, we had a furious row. I ran away to a friend who helped me contact social services. The duty worker arranged for me to stay at my brother's for the night and the next day I met my care manager, Alix. She arranged for me to move into a Supporting People flat myself.