muse mail

Muse, Sep 2005

Dear Muse,

"Although no cells remained"? (See page 4, November/December 2004 issue.) How can the blob "thingy" still be there if no cells remained? Aren't cells what make up the structure of living things? Maybe I'm crazy, but I am spending time on this and I would like a reply! Thank you?

Madison M.

California

You are not crazy, Madison. Cells do make up the structure of living things. But the blob thingy isn't living, is it? After a body dies, its cells break down and leave a sort of yucky soup that contains a lot of important body chemicals, including DNA. The outer skin is stronger than the cell walls, so it's still there to hold in all the hideous glop.

-Pwt

Hey, Pwt! Don't insult people by telling them they're not crazy!

-Koko

Dear Muse,

I'm reading this month's issue, May/June 2005. As always it's very interesting. I'm reading the article "The Stuff Behind Stuff" on page 32. Being a lover of the outdoors, I noticed the "coffee picker" in the first picture is picking blackberries, not coffee beans, which either means extra cost for producing crops to flavor coffee and to render the flavors and blend them into the coffee, or you used the wrong photo. My dad said it was probably a contest and I should ask if I win a T-shirt. But then I'd have to think about the resources it took to get Kokopelli on the shirt, starting with the ancient Indians scaling the cliffs of New Mexico and Arizona to etch the design, making scaffolding and charcoal and tools . . . .

Thanks for the brain meld,

Beth S., age 13

New York

You have sharp eyes, Beth! The dull-eyed editors mixed up the coffee-picking photo with one of somebody making a pie for Kokopelli.

-Feather

That pie is meant for Beth's wise-guy father, by the way.

-Koko

Yo! Muses (as this is the correct way to start a letter),

After reading your article, I did a thorough search on the Internet. It just so happens that "crested basketfish" is only found in one book (cue Jaws theme song)-Astonishing Animals!! Yes, I believe that the crested basketfish is the fake fish in your article. So in case you're giving out prizes for this discovery (hint, hint), I would like my letter to be printed in Muse.

Peace out!

Rock on!

Calvin M. S.

Colorado

You figured it out quicker than I did, Calvin, and I'm the Muse of Animals. I racked my brain so hard over this one, I turned into a netcarrying basketcase!

-Pwt

Dear Muses,

A few magazines ago (February 2005) you ran an article on the ivory-billed woodpecker, also known as the "Lord God bird." You mentioned that it was thought to now be extinct. I have good news for you! It was recently sighted after 60 years in Arkansass Big Woods. So it's not extinct after all! Thought you guys would like to know.

Erik N., age 14

P.S. Kokopelli is the best!

P.P.S. In your ad for Attack of the Smart Pies, at one point it says ". . . the Muses are smack (POP! SPLAT!) in the . . . ." Since when do pies go "pop"?

Oh, I have ways to make pies go "pop," don't you worry . . . or, on second thought, you should worry very, very much. Hee hee hee . . .

-Kokopelli

Great to hear about the bird, Erik! Now where's my net . . . ?

-Pwt

Dearest Muses of all sorts,

The traditional stuff, short: Muse is wonderful, my brother or I have been getting it for six years or something, my favorite Muse is all of them.

As soon as I got the March Muse, I read it avidly and finished it in about an hour. Then I re-read it. The next day I got a Sobe (Lizard Lava flavor) and was looking through the ingredients to see if it had caffeine (it didn't) when I saw something spectacular (and a little bit disturbing). It contained "cochineal color"! My friend, who'd just had a sip, is a vegetarian, and also got that Muse, freaked out and claimed she had a stomachache from the bugs (she didn't). Then she took another sip and repeated the scene again (don't ask me why). I didn't care. The Sobe was yummy, and it was just a bit of extra protein. Also it's good for the cochineal economy. If you don't like to drink bugs, don't get any Sobe drinks that are orange, red, pink, or purple. I'm guessing they have cochineal, too.

Keep on trucking,

Amandine, age 13

Washington

P.S. A mention to Rachel (who freaked out about the cochineal) and to Emily (another vegetarian Muse-getter who also took a sip but didn't freak out). (I'm not vegetarian, salami's too yummy, but I do like parentheses.)

I am thrilled and offended, Amandine. Thrilled that you actually drank bug juice. Offended that you think the other Muses are anything like as lovable as me. Please reconsider-or else!

-Kokofelli

Dear Muse,

Ah no! I am shocked! How could the great Muse, friend of children across America, have violated the Juvenile Conspiracy?! Yes, I am sorry to say that you are guilty of a Crime Against Childhood, to wit, the posting, in a place to be seen by adults, of a portion of the Lore of Children ("Iona, Fiona, Fee, Fi, Biona-Iona," November/ December 2004). This constitutes Telling in the First Degree, requiring the punishment of the person or persons responsible by writing in Sharpie (preferably colored) on their foreheads in large letters "Telltale," for all to see. Imagine the disaster it would be if your loyal readers were to leave out this issue of Muse and their parents were to pick it up! The Lore of Children to escape into the adult world! Shame on you.