muse mail

Hi, I'm a big fan of yours and I have been for many wondrous years since I started reading Muse. Although Im old by kid magazine standards (20), I was born on a leap year, so I'm actually 5 and I reserve the right to still read Muse! Nevertheless I've noticed something that intrigues me, and its gotten stranger lately. Koko, since you are the Muse of-and inspiration for-all tricks, I would like to know how you tricked the editors to put you on the front cover in a prominent place twice on EVERY issue?!? And even more mystifying is that recently it even says on the cover that Muse is a magazine about . . . pie throwing??? How did you pull that off, I would like to know? Maybe I could learn a thing or two from the master of tricks himself.

Your 5-year-old fan,

Sholom B. Z., age 20 or 5, Chicago, Illinois (home of Muse, yay!!)

P.S. I find it interesting to note that Bo is a Gaelic word for "cow," because my brother-in-law and sister and nephew live in Scotland. Is Bo from Scotland? If so, where?

P.P.S. It seems to be necessary to name your favorite article. Mine was the one about origami. I love it. Also could you do an article about woodworking?

P.P.P.S. I WANT ICE CREAM!!!!!

I'm from Abkhazia, which is about 2,200 miles from Scotland. But their names do have the same number of letters.

-Bo

How'd I get myself onto the cover, you ask? Let's just say I threatened a couple of editors with a strawberry-rhubarb you-know-what right in the you-know-where.

-Kokopelli

Dear Muse,

I have written to you numerous times in the past, but I have never been put in the magazine. *tear* I love Muse and I would die reading the letter that I am sending to you now in the magazine (from joy, of course). Okay, down to business. I have only been subscribing to Muse for 1½ or 2 years. I'm a youngster. A baby. A wannabe. So I have no idea. WHAT IS "PWT PWNS" SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I mean, gee, I know who Pwt is, but what is "pwns"? Please respond, because otherwise I shall lock myself in a casde guarded by 12 nasty dragons, surrounded by a moat of acid, a moat of boiling lava, and a moat full of man-eating alligators. (Also, I neglected to mention that there will be no bridges to diese moats.) There I will weep, and ponder what "pwns" means. However, I shall not threaten Muse, just plead and beg, for I am a peace activist, and I will not send a horde of hot pink, editoreating bunnies after youMWAHAHA, or will I? That remains to be seen. Will you publish my letter, or will it go into the-MWAHAHA-beyond?

The Cosmos for Kokopelli,

Editor-Eating Hot Pink Bunny Ruler, Maddy B., Mystery Person, age 11, Texas

Aeiou says "pwns" comes from "owns," which is a word Internet gamers use to mean "dominates in a game," and that "pwns" is an example of "leetspeak, "or "l337," which-wait, what??

-Crraw

-Aeiou

Dear Muse,

Hi! I really enjoy your articles. Will you please do one on endangered animals? I have only had the magazines for a year, so excuse me if you have already done an article on endangered animals. I would also like to know why Kokopelli throws (not eats) pies?

Kokopelli, I want to let you know you are my favorite character of all time. What pie is best for throwing? Maybe you could make a pie-throwing machine that only obeys the maker wearing a red cape.

Pwt, you are my second-favorite character because I love animals. Maybe you could catch Crraw by setting a bird feeder in the middle of nowhere. (Make sure Crraw is not reading this.)

Crraw, you should really get a bunny suit for Pwt with built-in radar so you know where Pwt is.

My greeting sent to the editors is simply, Hello! I really like how you make great magazines! To keep him out of trouble, maybe you should put Koko in a cage. Keep up the good work! I can't wait for your next magazine! I love you, Pie Thrower!

Anna W., age 10

P.S. I never knew Kokopelli had a dog! What kind of dog is he? I think I can see why you named him Devil (if he really is worse than Koko)!

Gosh, Anna, I don't know what kind of dog Devil is. To be honest, we're still trying to figure out what kind of creature Kokopelli is.

-Urania

We aim to please! If you're hoping to spot an endangered animal, head to page 32. Hurry before it disappears . . .

-Mimi

Dear Muse,

You rock so much I wrote a song about you!! Here goes:

Bo's Page full of facts, outrageous

Koko's coolness is quite contagious

Pwt's gender and the question it brings

These are a few of my favorite things.

Feathers love for each donut tree

Aeiou's language a mystery

Except to Crraw who happily sings,

"These are a few of my favorite things!"

Urania's love for stars, meteors, and feet

Mimi, always so nice and so sweet

Chad's strange machine and robotic wings

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pie hits,

When Crraw escapes

And the editors are mad,

I simply remember how much Muse rocks,

And then I don't feel too bad!

THE END.

I also have a few things to say. 1) If you don't publish this I will be sad and maybe cry, and you'll have to live with the guilt. 2) Mimi, you're the coolest Muse, though all nine rock!! 3) Could you do an article about bats, sometime? 4) What are these hot pink bunnies I've heard so much about?