Outside help might be best bet for resolving conflict

In the best of worlds, family businesses thrive because there is a high level of trust and cooperation among relatives who share not just blood but a strong work ethnic and commitment to making the business thrive.

But what happens when conflict arises? Workplace conflict doesn't have to be negative, said Archie King, a retired counselor and consultant in Madison.

"Conflict can lead to greater teamwork and increased productivity if handled properly," King sad. "Managers can make tough work easier by improving their communication skills, providing forums for employees and learning conflict resolution skills. Addressing problems before they escalate is imperative. Every business and company should have written and enforced policies baring threats, sexual harassment and racial discrimination. A formal system for resolving conflict should also be a part of their policies."

Family businesses can face difficult challenges because it is almost impossible to keep the family dynamics from affecting the business. King recommends family businesses with conflict resolution seek outside help from a professional.

"They are dealing with family issues and business issues, which complicate the process," King said. "Forums for resolving conflict and a facilitator who has the skills to help resolve the conflict are helpful."

Workplace conflicts can have a huge impact on the productivity and financial success of a company. King said one of the reasons employee assistance programs are diminishing is because it is almost impossible to quantify their value by a dollar amount. But when you consider loss of work due to stress and illness, less productive employees, sabotage and employee turnover, the cost to business is tremendous.

They don't go away

There can be a tendency to ignore conflict in the workplace, particularly when it is a family-owned business and problems could spread beyond work to home. But rarely do problems just go away if they aren't addressed.

"You can actually document the fact that numerous family businesses have disintegrated over the inability to resolve conflict," said Hal Miller, a member of the Public Law and Finance Group at Butler, Snow, O'Mara, Stevens & Cannada, PLLC, Jackson. "Conflict may get that bad with non-family businesses, but I don't think so.

"If you don't resolve the conflict, it isn't the same as you and your boss having conflict. You can find exceptions, but generally speaking it is more difficult for a brother and sister or two brothers to resolve a conflict than two people who aren't kin to each other. It is harder because we remember what we did to each other as little kids. Conflicts are more difficult to resolve to begin with because of the family relationship."

Miller, whose family business, Miller Transporters, has had five generations involved, recommends mediation by an objective third party when conflict is causing major problems.

"Part of what I do is serve as a mediator sitting between people trying to resolve disputes," Miller said. "These are mostly legal, but some involve family businesses.

"I recommend to family businesses and to closely held businesses, if you have a dispute, you ought to seriously considering using the services of an impartial third party to sit down and help you talk it out. I have been successful in helping families resolve disputes that they couldn't resolve if their lives depended on it. I'm an impartial person who doesn't have the hangups. There are a lot of people, myself included, who call themselves family business consultants. And resolving conflict is part of what we do."

Conflicts that are just ignored can end up dominating the business. You can end paying more attention to the feud than the business.

"Business can go to hell in a bushel basket if you are not paying attention," Miller said. "It is easier to happen with family businesses. Try to resolve conflicts in a rapid period of time because it just gets worse. Sometimes you forget what the dispute was about in the first place because use you have gotten so mad and been mad for so long."

Conflict can be avoided in the first place by having firm rules in the workplace. Miller advises developing them early before problems crop up because that is better than making a rule after a situation arises. Making rules ahead of time makes it impersonal.

"If you and I had a rule now that determined how we were going to choose the next head of the company, then it is not real personal," Miller said. "But if it is time to choose a new leader and you don't have a rule, it gets very personal. I'm a big advocate of rules.

Unfortunately, a lot of family businesses don't have rules. They just kind of wing it and deal with issues as they arise."

Most of the time, family business disputes aren't legal. But when one family member sues another, it can get very ugly. When not just words have been exchanged but a lawsuit filed, mediation is a good choice.

"Bring in an impartial third party and it enhances the ability to solve the problem," said Miller, who teaches mediation at the Mississippi College School of Law. "A mediator can make suggestions that won't make them mad. It really is that simple."