Returning to "Normal"

Resource, Jul 2007 by Cundiff, John

... even in the aftermath of mourning senseless murders, I am convinced I have the greatest job in the world.

On a sleepy Monday morning in April, evil invaded the Virginia Tech (VT) campus, and 33 people were killed. ASABE member Julia Pryde was one of them - a young woman I had taught in two classes while she was a sophomore and one during her junior year.

Immediately after the shooting spree, all classes were suspended, and I functioned numbly in a "do" mode. Two days later, I started to feel again, emotions returning. Concentration seemed to come and go, but one question continually haunted me: What will I tell my students when I meet with them for the first time after a week of shock, horror, and grief?

One of the directives given to faculty by counselors was "Take care of you so you can take care of those around you." So, the weekend before classes resumed, 1 spent an entire Saturday doing physical work on my farm. I did it for me before I penned my "return to normal" plan along with these raw, unpolished thoughts ...

1. Begin with short, 10-minute lecture (take it like any normal day); then deal with the tragedy as a class as our own community.

2. Tell and encourage "Julia stories." She sat on the right near the back with her buddies Anthy and Adam - three "hippies." Anthy is now an engineer with a California firm, and Adam is a Washington State graduate student; both are doing well. I think these people succeed just to spite me. Julia was just beginning her grad program at Virginia Tech. Remember how she wore her hair in dread locks but then in her senior year changed the style? To everyone's amazement, Julia had absolutely beautiful hair! Who knew?

3. Deal with loss of innocence. November 1963: me, a sophomore at VT, walking across the porch of Lane Hal! on my way to a calculus class, stunned by news that President Kennedy had been shot. Until that moment, the world had been rational, well ordered people were nice. Life was "normal." But no more. At that moment, childhood was behind me; innocence was gone. This has happened to my students. Lives are now changed, their place of safety, nurturing, and learning violated.

4. Be transparent so students will be comfortable in coming to me as individuals. Share the times my heart was broken; that God healed my shattered heart each time; that I know He will heal it again this time. How can I get this message to my students? You can't mention God in the classroom. Nuts to that - find a way.

5. Discuss the hard questions and the ongoing practicalities.

* "Why?" Rational thoughts cannot explain an irrational action. Evil is real. How can God be just? Was "The Referee" taking a break during the massacre?

* Anger. I experienced rage on 9/11 but not this time. Why not now after a campus massacre?

* Fear. Should we live our lives in fear? Are we going to withdraw from those around us - or reach out to them? Will we let fear win?

* Loss of ability to concentrate, loss of sleep, loss of or increased appetite. We struggle with emotions that overcome us from time to time. Discuss the need to be with others who share this experience.

Exactly one week after "getting back to normal," my students tested their fountain designs, floating brightly colored beach balls on arcing streams of water, endeavoring to hit target buckets placed on a five-meter radius. This test run, the only design experience provided in the course, was highly anticipated.

It was a beautiful spring day. We laughed, sprayed water about, got soaked, and learned something very important: women engineers do not get their hair wet. Finally, one team got their ball stabilized in the fountain and kept it aloft for about 15 seconds. "Normal" was felt - even palpable. Tensions were dissipating.

On a day like that, even in the aftermath of mourning senseless murders, I am convinced I have the greatest job in the world, and I am continually impressed with the strength and wisdom of my students. As an even greater "normal" returns over the summer and into the next academic year, more and more, we will grasp a great truth: good does prevail.

ASABE fellow John Cundiff first visited Virginia Tech in June 1957 as a high school student attending the state's Future Farmers of America rally. As a professor in the biological systems engineering department, this marks his 48th year associated with the University; 540-231-3199, jcundiff@vt.edu.