When the going gets tough why does it become a psychobabble issue?

0 Comments | Sunday Herald, The, Dec 19, 1999 | by susan

Anxious? Confused? Find yourself lurching between addictions, inexplicable rages and vague, unidentifiable lethargies? Don't worry. You're suffering from a simple case of chronic psycho-gibberish fatigue syndrome, and you're not alone. It's a condition which afflicts increasing numbers of us, as we fall prey to the twin forces of consumer capitalism and quack psychology.

You may, for instance, have recently found yourself swaying giddily between two momentous life-choices - whether to buy that Wallace & Gromit tie, or the Hugo Boss aftershave for the man in your life.

A simple case of indecision? Nothing of the sort. You're experiencing Option Paralysis - a condition coined by psychologist Dr Arig Sigman to describe a disturbing contemporary phenomenon. It seems that in this have-it-all Western world, we're overwhelmed by a surplus of options. And we can't handle it.

"Too much choice has caused a lot of trouble," explains Dr Sigman. "Even the choice of TV stations is oppressing people, drowning them in information, and suppressing them into a state of permanent indecision. No-one's ever satisfied with the choice they've made."

So many decisions to make, so much stress to encounter. Far from being liberating, choice has become confusing, he adds. Consumerism has not made us happy.

Wise thoughts. Except that Sigman's theory on Option Paralysis is presented within a Halfords press release. This has only one consumerist objective - to persuade women that the answer to their Christmas shopping dilemma is to chill out and buy him something practical. Such as a Halfords socket set.

In marketing terms, psychobabble is the new sex. It sells. Or at least, PR firms seem convinced the surest way to get products off shelves is to dream up a bizarre new psychological syndrome vaguely pertinent to their client's target customers. Then find a psychologist to babble meaningfully upon the subject.

Recently, for instance, you may have noticed a rash of press reports about yet another symptom of modern life - remote rage, a condition expected to rocket over the festive season as families wrestle for possession of the TV control pad. Consumer psychologist and stress management guru, Dr David Lewis, is the expert witness. Many people lead very stressful working lives, he says profoundly, "and if they come home to find they cannot watch a programme of their choice, or a partner sitting firmly in control of the button, remote rage can easily follow".

Men, he warns, can see restriction of their viewing as a challenge to their masculinity and women are asserting their influence by keeping hold of the remote. "Occasionally, some women feel so guilty when they do get their own way that they suffer [psychobabble alert!] post-TV stress syndrome."

Dr Lewis says the answer lies in a greater choice of channels, since "remote rage is most likely to happen in households that have access to only a small number of channels. With limited choice, there is less potential to find something to suit everyone." Yes, you guessed it, the PR campaign in question was for a digital TV company.

Dr Lewis seems to be something of a Freudian Scrooge, perpetually warning of the festive hazards that lurk amidst the sherry and tinsel. The good doctor was around last Christmas, warning of the perils of Santa Syndrome - a seasonally-induced condition whose symptoms include irritability and guilt.

He has a lot to say about shopping, which he believes can induce stress levels akin to those experienced by fighter pilots. Last festive season, he provided conclusive proof that shopping is bad for men's health and in a report on Surviving Santa Stress, commissioned by the Royal Mail, he suggested one solution was to shop by mail order.

Strangely, Dr Lewis is also an enthusiastic advocate of the theory that shopping is better than sex: "The pace and pressure of modern life makes it very difficult to find enough time to develop intimate relationships," he said recently. "Shopping, by contrast, can be done quickly and easily, bringing a comforting sense of self-indulgence to a person's life."

Confused? No wonder. You've been well and truly psychobaffled.

Occupational psychologist Cary Cooper admits being buttonholed by marketeers is becoming a hazard of the job. "A lot of psychobabble comes from PR firms trying to promote products or concepts by turning them into something media-friendly. Defining something as a 'syndrome' or a 'rage' makes it sound more professional, but much of it's tongue-in-cheek."

The list of modern "afflictions" - air rage, trolley rage, bus queue rage - is verging on the ludicrous. In the US, there's even an organisation called Rageaholics Anonymous. "Americans love psychobabble," says Cooper, "and the UK is becoming increasingly Americanised. Unfortunately, in the process, we've moved from relative stability - nine-to-five schedules, jobs for life - to a situation where we're all insecure, dissatisfied, overloaded, frenetic. And the more unstable society becomes, the more there's a psychological reaction to it, so Americans love to labelise and professionalise things - partly for speed.