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Disnae on ice Michael Grant's survival guide to the winter shutdown
Sunday Herald, The, Jan 5, 2003 by Michael Grant
P is for paint Watch some drying as an entertaining distraction from the O'Neill contract saga.
Q is for . . . queue Join the end of the line to grab a copy of Lorenzo Amoruso's autobiography and his cookbook. Bargain Books open at 9am.
R is for remember That's why you never bought Carling lager. Now, as well as the taste, and the worry that Will Carling might have something to do with it, you can take a moral objection on the grounds that they've pumped millions into an Old Firm shirt sponsorship deal.
S is for Scottish Cup Remember that the SPL clubs are back in action in the cup before they restart the league. The third-round draw was made last night and the games are on Saturday, January 25.
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T is for training sessions Kilmarnock, Dunfermline, Hibs, Livingston, Motherwell and Dundee United are too poor to be able to go anywhere this month, so why not annoy them by going along to training and taunting them about the richer clubs living it up in the sun?
U is for understand Reporters need a break too, so don't bombard the guys manning the Daily Record hotline with pointless observations about Rangers and Celtic. Accept it - neither of them will be doing anything newsworthy until the season starts again.
V is for vote Enter your selection in advance for the man of the match in BBC Scotland's first three live games after the restart: Dundee v Hibs, Dundee United v Dundee, Aberdeen v United. Get it right by voting for: Ian Murray, Billy Dodds, Dennis Wyness.
W is for Worthington Cup Pretend that it matters by enjoying the semi-finals this week: Manchester United play Blackburn on Tuesday and Sheffield United take on Liverpool on Wednesday.
X is for Xausa Livingston's David, one of the players who will enjoy the break. What? Come on . . . have you got any better ideas on what to do with X? It was either Xausa or "xenophobia - try it for a month".
Y is for youth football.
Prattle on about how important it is, how Scotland's leading clubs have let the nation down by failing to invest in it, and how we'll never be worth a damn again because we can't produce new Baxters, Laws or Johnstones. Then don't bother going to watch any of the youth games going on anywhere around the country.
Z is for zzzzz The 12 SPL clubs meet again on January 22 for the next round of talks on whatever they're still talking about.
Copyright 2003 SMG Sunday Newspapers Ltd.
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