Author-ity goes too far

0 Comments | Sunday Herald, The, Aug 17, 2003 | by Alan Taylor's Diary

Swinney needs wife management course A Freudian slip? As if beleaguered Nats' leader John Swinney didn't have enough on his plate, the Press Association, reporting on his first conference since returning from his honeymoon with his new spouse, Elizabeth, said he would be working on organisational reforms with the grassroots of the party and wife consultation and agreement."

The jewel and the frown

WHAT is the point of Janet Street-Porter? The "world premiere" of her fringe show, All The Rage, is billed, Pope-like, as "an audience with the legendary columnist, presenter, editor, bosom-buddy of the glitterati " Ms Street-Porter uses her audience as a focus group, charitably charging them eleven quid to offer her advice about where she should next seek her fortune. She should try selling snake oil.

Last Sunday, Ms Street-Porter appeared on Scottish Television's Seven Days and was warned beforehand that since it would be broadcast before the watershed, she should refrain from swearing. She swore she would. Colourfully. Imagine, then, the reaction of unflappable presenter Stephen Jardine, as the seconds before going on air ticked away, when he noticed his guest wearing a necklace which spelled c***. The haste with which Mr Jardine moved to remove the offending item was truly wonderful to behold.

Big John keeping his powder dry

THERE is still no indication when, or if, John Leslie will sue the individuals, newspapers and radio stations that accused him of raping Ulrika Jonsson and sexually assaulting various other women. Nor is there is sign of a revival of Mr Leslie's television career. Initially, it was rumoured that he had been approached by Sky to present a chat show. Sky have since denied making any approach. In the meantime, Mr Leslie has sold his story to the Daily Express, whose owner is the renowned pornographer Richard Desmond. Though this may have helped the former Blue Peter presenter clear his legal debts, it also gave the Daily Mail, the Express's sworn enemy, the opportunity to revive stories about Mr Leslie's lurid affairs.

It is all very unsatisfactory and unsavoury. While Mr Leslie's future remains uncertain, he will no doubt be happy to have the support of Joan Collins, who has taken his side against Ms Jonsson. "Do these bird-brains think that when invited to a 6ft 5in celeb's pad at midnight, he just wants to share his cocoa and cookies with them?" she asks. She does not believe Mr Leslie is a rapist, merely a man who likes his women. She may be right; she may not. What Ms Collins is undeniably right about, however, is that until everyone has had their day in court, Mr Leslie's spell in living hell must continue.