5 minute life coach

0 Comments | Sunday Herald, The, Nov 2, 2003 | by Lynne Wilson

You are in a relationship and things are not going well. The rose- tinted glasses are off and what was once an endearing characteristic is now a source of irritation. Resentment has built up and you may feel hurt, angry or disappointed. All you seem to do is argue. Your willingness and ability to resolve problems is a key factor in the survival of your relationship.

Many people make the mistake of trying to change their partner. This never works. The only person you can change is yourself. Your behaviour is either contributing to or contaminating the relationship. Self-analysis will enable you to highlight areas for which you can take personal responsibility. Make a decision to listen to each other and give up the need to be right. Identify your needs and communicate with your partner in a non-confrontational way. Avoid antagonistic use of phrases such as, "You always" or "You never". The aim is to negotiate a solution that will meet the needs of both parties. Isn't learning how to re-connect with your partner more important than winning an argument?

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