Alan Taylor's Diary

He left his stamp on everything he lifted, Antonia

HOORAY for the Hootsmon, which on Friday carried an obituary of Dr James A Mackay, who has died aged 70, and who wrote more than 200 books and tens of thousands of articles, many of them on the fascinating subject of philately . . . as in the old adage, philately can get you anywhere.

Dr Mackay started collecting stamps when he was five, which eventually got him to London and a job at the British Museum. Alas, as his obituarist genteelly noted, he committed a "youthful indiscretion" which cost him his job. What this "indiscretion" was was not disclosed.

In fact, Dr Mackay was sacked for stealing valuable stamps and was convicted at the Old Bailey.

The Hootsmon then burbled on a bit about his career as a biographer. His book on Rabbie Burns won the prestigious Saltire Society Book Of The Year award and further biographies followed like buses along Princes Street, including tomes on Andrew Carnegie, Michael Collins, Allan Pinkerton, Robert Service and William Wallace. One used . . . in one's more idle and pensive moments . . . to wonder quite how Dr Mackay managed to be so productive until it was revealed . . . in an exclusive in the Hootsmon! . . . that he was wantonly plagiarising the work of other authors.

One such was Joseph Wall who wrote a fat biography of Carnegie; another was my dear friend Lady Antonia Fraser of the Hosiery Department, whose biography of Mary, Queen of Scots was burgled by Dr Mackay for his book, In My End Is My Beginning. Contacted at the time, he was unavailable but could be heard off stage shouting to his wife "no comment".

Apropos another of his biographies, he was accused of "spectacular and sustained" plagiarism and had to pay L20,000 compensation.

Thereafter his publisher, Mainstream, cut Dr Mackay adrift and the gush of books soon dried up. "He was a good host, " added his obituarist, "and a usually delightful companion on car journeys." Whoop-di-do!

Of the above travails, however, there was not a cheep. Curious, non?

Grave issue of newspaper obits

IN this great, ailing nation where death comes dropping like a clanger, I have often pondered why our great daily newspapers do not make more of a fuss over it.

Increasingly, I find I turn to the obituary pages first, high- fiving whenever I see some ancient adversary has succumbed ahead of me, grieving when someone whom one has admired even from afar has popped their clogs.

Perhaps because one cannot libel the dead the scribbling seems less inhibited.

Were my writ allowed to run over the Hootsmon or The Herald I would devote at least a couple of pages a day to death and dying, with a special supplement on Saturday to see we death junkies through the weekend.

These pages would have black-decked edges and contain warts-and- all obits of the good, the bad and the ugly printed in a gothic typeface.

There would also be a Looking Poorly column, to which readers could report sightings of folk who seemed a few notches below par and . . . the piece de resistance . . . there'd be another feature titled Departure Lounge, which would list those seen tottering into chemist's, surgeries, ambulances, A&E and whatnot.

Zimmers, sticks, wheelchairs, an excess of pills in a bathroom cabinet would all be worth recording.

You may say I am sick. I say take my advice and watch your (newspaper) circulations soar.

Photo criticism is a mug's game

SOMEWHAT belatedly, my dear amigos at the Daily Taleban . . . aka the McMail . . . have been getting their knickers in a twist because my youthful buddy, Harry Benson, photographer extraordinaire, received four thousand quid a pop from Holyrood for two snaps he took aeons ago of former presiding officers, Giorgio Reid and Sir David "Stainless" Steel.

So out of tune with the mood of the nation it couldn't get a job as Sydney Devine's backing singer, the Taleban unearthed a photographer whom no-one's ever heard of to produce a photo of Giorgio which he was willing to part with for L125.

"Obviously, " said "leading" Edinburgh snapper, Tony Gorzkowski, "you are paying for the name and the reputation but it's a ridiculous sum of money for the taxpayer to pay."

Get that chaps . . . "name" and "reputation". Anyone can paint a tin of soup. (Well, anyone but me). But put Andy Warhol's signature on it and you can charge what you want. Put Mr Gorzkowski's name on it and you couldn't sell it to a mug.

Surprise party won't have shaken Alexei

IN its infinite wisdom the Hootsmon said that the Gnats celebrated their first 100 days at the helm by sending out a "thin" press release marked "solid platform for success".

The Times on the other hand, which purports to have its mind on higher things, topped its report with the headline:

"SNP awards itself glowing report for first 100 days".

Could this possibly be because the author of the latter piece was none other than our old friend Lorraine Davidson, squeeze of Labour MEP David Martin and biographer of Sir Jocular McConnell, Our Man in Malawi?